I know I was created by God for a purpose, and that He loves me as much as (no, more than, and with a perfect love I can't reach with my own human soul) I love my own kids, even when I am naughty, or useless, or just ungrateful.
I don't question that. I cling to it. You have to, don't you?
But sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just suddenly stopped trying to prove my worth to the people around me, and quietly and calmly let them figure it out for themselves, based on my Rudimentary Me-ness. Whatever that might actually turn out to be if I stopped cluttering up the real-ness with all my Proof.
What joyful/painful truths would that reveal?
The thought is both terrifying (I'd lose control. Or, well, I'd relinquish the illusion of control I clinch tenaciously in my permanently-curled soul-fingers.)
And liberating. (I wouldn't have to be in control. I could rest. I could open my palms wide and just ... be.)
Oh, what a thought.
I'm not sure I'd ever have the mental/emotional strength to actually let go, (and isn't it such irony that I even think I have to rely on my strength to do the letting go?) but I do wonder sometimes, in a thought-breeze that both refeshingly cools and ominously chills ...
What if I just did?
Do you ever wonder that?