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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

WELL NO WONDER I CAN'T DRIVE IN THE SNOW! THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!

In the flurry of excitement over my new tag line, I forgot to tell y'all that I posted over at 5 Minutes for Parenting yesterday. I wrote the post not because I needed to whine or vent, (even though I sometimes do) but because I think the feeling I describe is one to which I think other Moms (and Dads) may relate. There are some really good, uplifting and definitely empathetic comments already, as I knew there would be, and I'm guessing y'all will have a lot of great stuff to add as well.

We're off this mornin' to try and beat the blizzard headed this way and get Bean registered for her first year of kinny-garden.

Y'all, this registration thing has got me SO fidgety nervous and uptight. (RECIPE FOR DISASTER.) I feel like I'm goin' to take the SAT or sumpm! I've got my tax bill and Bean's birth certificate, which, by the way I just discovered has Colombia, South America listed as her mother's state of birth.

OHMYGRANNY!

I've got the names, address and all 5 phone numbers of my emergency contacts and my proof of identity and my recipe for chicken pot pie and cash register receipts from the local Wal-Mart dating back 4 years and I've got immunization records for everyone we're related to on both sides of the family goin' back to my Aunt Gertie (the one with the mustache).

I've got my ... ugh ... checkbook. (Wheez.)

But what if I goof up? What if, on my first interaction with the public school system in this ittybitty little town, I do sumpm so stupid I'm immediately branded as One of Those Mothers and I can never undo it?

(Y'all can extrapolate by now, I'm sure, that I am fully capable of leveling this little hamlet with the sheer gusty, swirling force of my own confuddlement just by opening my mouth to speak, can't you?) (Allow me to assure you, I most definitely am.)

What if I perpetrate an act so horrifically embarrassing that Bean's forced wear a bag on her head for the next thirteen years?

WHAT IF THEY TAKE ONE LOOK AT THE WOMAN BEFORE THEM, ONE LOOK AT BEAN'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE, AND DECIDE TO SAVE THEMSELVES A HEAP OF TROUBLE BY SHIPPIN' ME DIRECTLY AND IMMEDIATELY BACK TO SOUTH AMERICA?

Sigh.

God save El Presidente, y'all.

Adios.











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12 comments:

  1. On the upside: You can post all kinds of scrumptious south-of-the-border recipes for us now, yes?

    Si?

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  2. OHMYGRANNY! I too, love that saying! Mine are in 1st and 3rd so I have sooo been there! I decided to just let out my crazy a tiny little bit at a time, you know, like the proverbial frog put in the water and then the heat was turned up and he didn't notice? That way those around me wouldn't really notice! :) I think it worked. They haven't shipped me (us) off yet!

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  3. Kinny-garden?? How did that happen? Good luck! :)

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  4. I've been doing some brown-bag-breathing over the Kinny-garden too. We're taking the easy out and keeping her in the school associated with her day care. We need to continue full-day school with after school care so this is one of the only options available to us. Almost all Ks around here are half-day.

    But I wonder if we put her in another school for first grade will she always be an 'outsider'. I know I'm projecting my own experience on her but I worry none-the-less.

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  5. Love it. You crack me up!

    Welcome to our country. You can drink the water here.

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  6. You'll be fine. They'll love you and Bean too!

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  7. That's a great tagline :) WHEEE!! for school!

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  8. You'll have to change your famous saying to OHMYABUELITA!!

    Hee Hee

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  9. There's something comforting about being one of "those mothers!" I've actually told preschool directors flat out that I'm "that mom." Then there's no expectations, right? ;)

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  10. I hope it went well, I know how nerve wracking this stage is!!!

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Thoughts?