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Monday, March 30, 2009

Stuff

I got a friendly little nudge this morning, reminding me that I'd be losing myself some readers soon if I didn't give y'all something to read. I secretly hope that's not actually the case, but the idea does have merit, doesn't it?

We're all fine here at FriedOkra Manor, just dealing with some STUFF. You know how it is, right? None of it is Big Stuff, just sortof a slow avalanche of Little Stuff that keeps happening at a pace that lets me stand up for a day before I get knocked back down again.

And about 50% of you just sighed, "DITTO!" and the other half of you would have done so a couple of months ago, so I know you know what I mean and you've all been there too. We all have. Life goes in cycles - sometimes things are all peachy keen and the world is your oyster and all that and other times, well, somebody else has all the peaches and oysters for awhile. I'm old enough to have seen the cycles come and go, but young enough to remember them, so I know to just hang on tight to my kids and my husband and God and let go of everything else for awhile.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's all fine, maybe just ONLY fine right now, but fine is fine, you know? It's just not all that funny or clever or bloggable. I'll be back, probably any day now. I'm just biding my time until I've worked through All The Stuff and am feeling a bit more like me again.

Or until I humiliate myself publicly again.

Whichever comes first.

(And I think we all know the odds are stacked pretty high on option B.)

Y'all have a great week!

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Monday, March 23, 2009

It's Monday Again!

Hey y'all! I blogged about the FriedOkra family's weekend adventure at 5 Minutes for Parenting today.



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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

And Then As Library's Oldest Patron Ever Blew Past the Front of My Truck, I Accidently Backed Up and Sat on The Horn

I felt SO BAD, people. I wanted to climb back across and get out, claw my way over to her to apologize and make sure her heart was still beatin' and everything, but the situation bein' what it was, I felt it best to just cut my losses and beat a hasty retreat out of there.

And I suppose y'all want to hear the rest of that story, don't you?

Yes, of course you do.

Well, alrighty then.

On a particularly windy day last week (and by particularly windy I don't mean blustery, I mean as will blow off all of your body hair), I took both kids to the library, our little barn-shaped public library into which so many books and other forms of media and fellow book-and-other-media-lovers are crammed that once you step inside the front door you've gotta take a number to BLINK, Peabody bucking hard in his stroller (he's already at that stage of babyhood where he WILL NOT BEND IN THE MIDDLE so when he's in his stroller, he looks a little bit like Hannibal Lecter bein' wheeled around standing up on that little hand-truck-ish thingy, you know what I'm talking about?) and Bean with Teddy in his mei tai on her back and her little pink be-jeweled library bag slung over one arm.

I navigated my posse cautiously through the too-tight stacks and the tippy-overy-lookin' periodical shelves and on through the double doors into the children's area, and Bean picked out a slew of "books" (I don't accept anything bearing the designation Rug Rats or Nickelodeon as actual literature, do you?) and then I chose REAL books FOR her (ahem), as Peabody remained propped diagonally, almost hovering ABOVE his stroller, only his shoulders and the backs of his calves touching, his behind held as FAR away from that seat as he could stretch it, grunting with all the frustration intrinsic to being SEVEN MONTHS OLD and STILL TREATED LIKE A BABY, HMPH!

We then slithered and inched our way back out to the front desk where I hoisted Bean up and down, up and down, from floor to counter, as she unloaded her bag of books for checking-out purposes and then up and down again as she put them BACK into the bag, Peabody now beginning to sound the up-with-this-I-shall-no-longer-put alarm at a frequency high enough to make everyone's eyes water (and we could only blink back those tears one person at a time, remember). I pushed him, him still standing against the back of his seat like a piece of plywood, over to a tiny corner where, without actually bein' able to move my own arms, I managed to get Bean into her coat, re-affix Teddy to her back, gather up the heavy sack of books, locate my keys and then point us all, Peabody's two stubbornly protruding feet first, through the front door and out into the jagged razorblades of freezing cold wind.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN! I shouted over the gale, STAY ON THE SIDEWALK WHILE I GET PEABODY IN THE CAR!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? she wailed back.

THE SIDE. WALK. (Furiously pointing as the words were nearly blown back into my mouth.) STAY ON THE SIDEWALK FOR A MINUTE. DON'T MOVE.

OKAAAAAAAAAAAAY! she called back, as Teddy, in his mei tai, was whipped upwards and around to repeatedly slap her in the face. She stumbled momentarily but remained upright.

I opened Peabody's car door and shoved him, pressing down hard on his midsection, into his car seat, as he kicked and flailed, shaking loose a sock which the wind grabbed and carried immediately off to parts unknown. Probably somewhere in Canada. Once he was fastened in and angrily screeching his total, utter disgust with the situation, I wrestled the stroller into its folded position and struggled head-on with the wind to open the tailgate of the truck and deposit it inside, while keeping one eye on Bean, who I remained seriously fearful might be lifted up and blown across the street and into the parking lot of the new municipal complex at any moment.

Stroller stowed away, I fought my way back to Bean and grabbed her just as her feet began to leave the ground. I made my way to the other side of the car to discover that another library patron had parked well to the right of his allotted slot, leaving a space about as wide as a slice of dried-up raisin bread between his vehicle and mine. I could open Bean's door about a half an inch. We looked at each other and rolled our eyes simultaneously.

On the other side of the truck again, we both hauled ourselves up through the passenger door and she crawled over the console and back into her booster seat, as Peabody wailed on hysterically. I made my way over the &%#* parking brake and into my seat just as Bean reminded me, loudly, You still gotta BUCKLE ME UP, Mama.

Si-i-i-gh.

Which is how I ended up backwards in my seat, leaning over the console, my front half bent awkwardly around to reach Bean, directly behind me, re-roll her frickafrackin' seat belt (remember, THIS ONE?) ALL THE WAY BACK IN, to the FINAL STUPID MILLIMETER, seethe-seethe, pull it back out, fasten it literally with the very tips of my fingernails, tighten it up, all the while feeling, and I'm pretty sure HEARING, essential components of my skeleto-muscular system giving way, never to be quite the same again.

(I'm like a sad old un-stretchy Stretch Armstrong whose polymers have been fully compromised by too much time in the burning sun, stuck up and forgotten in the back window of the Plymouth, is what I am.)

Which brings us to where I sat back and accidentally deafened, and potentially ended the life of, a sweet old lady, with my right buttock on the steering wheel.


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Monday, March 16, 2009

Thank You, Alice!

Happy Monday! I'm over at 5 Minutes for Parenting this morning with my friend Alice's simple, fun, rewarding idea for your preschool/kindergarten-aged kidlets. Y'all come see.



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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Thank Goodness I Got The Camera Turned Off Before She Demanded The Fifty Dollars and A Charms Blo-Pop I'd Bribed Her With

Been tagged by several of my bloggy and Facebook pals for this Interview with Your Child thingy and I thought it'd be fun to capture Bean's answers in a video.

I apologize for the quality of the audio, people. You can hear me and you can CERTAINLY hear Mr. Peabody tearin' it up beside me in his exersaucer, but you may have to resort to readin' Bean's lips for the first couple of minutes because the SUPER HIGH QUALITY MIKE I WAS USIN'(snort) didn't quite pick up her first few shy answers.



The funniest thing she said by far is "We both have perfect teeth." OHMYWORD. Where does she get these things?



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Monday, March 9, 2009

And It Don't Look Like I'll Ever Stop My Wandering

Yep. I'm gone again.

I'm over at 5 Minutes for Parenting talking about the joy I've felt lately as I've witnessed Bean's maternal instinct begin to blossom. Teddy's got himself a beautiful Little Mama.

And here's somethin' else beautiful. I thought you might enjoy a little oasis of peacefulness on your inevitably hectic Monday morning.

Listen to that gorgeous harmony, y'all.

That's what we all need lately, isn't it? Just a little more of that gorgeous harmony.

(Video removed.)

Have a beautiful day!


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Friday, March 6, 2009

STAMPEDE!

I'm givin' away a pair of these cute Lands' End Suede Tasseled Moccasins over at Chic Critique today.




I know! 'Nuf said.



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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Buffalo Sauce is Just Another Word for Oxygen

Okay so we're back from vacation and hello? People? No one bothered to tell Mama that vacationing with two little children will result in full-on hospitalizable exhaustion within 1.16 days. Really, the trouble with vacationing with children is that, well, they GO WITH YOU. And for me, it's them from whom I need the vacation!

Although of course they are good children and I love them and appreciate them and blah blah blah BLAH. (Oh now seriously, I do. You know I do.)

Now we're home and tryin' to get back into the swing of things around here, which means, in a nutshell, I'm tryin' to re-learn how to handle both kids at the same time on my own all day long while simultaneously detoxing from the daily baskets of freshly fried buffalo shrimp and grilled scallops and tiny little completely bread-free lump crab cakes upon which I'd apparently grown physically dependent.

(Shake, shake.)

Sigh. The re-entry has been difficult and I may or may not have eaten a dozen vanilla-frosted vanilla cupcakes since Monday to ease the transition. WHA-A-AT? Butter creme can really smooth out a rough edge or two. I'm just sayin'.

Chocolate-frosted chocolate cupcakes are next.

(Wonders.) Hmmm... how long can I use re-entry as a valid excuse for cuppy-cakes?

I have many, many other things to tell you and a picture or two of some really wonderful and exciting and lump-throaty things that the kiddos did while we were away, so stay tuned.

I've missed y'all boo-coodles.

HU-U-UG.


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