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Thursday, August 6, 2009

And All This Happened Before I Even Climbed Up onto the Exam Table

So Friday, people. THIS FRIDAY. As in TOMORROW. Is Peabody's FIRST BIRTHDAY.

I kno-o-ow! I can't believe it either. But here's the proof. I wrote this post a year ago today, and the very next day I wrote one about how tiny Peabody's little ears were. It's funny, because in the comments on the original post, many of you said, "Hope Peanut gets here soon, now that Nana's there," and by Jove, he did. And dang it if that wasn't the very last time he ever did anything anybody else wanted him to do. But we love him anyway, don't we?


Nana has arrived, Thank You, Lord and AMEN. I'd tell you all about how relieved and happy I feel about that except that every time I try, I fall over face-first onto my keyboard, awash in tears of joy and thanksgiving. And that is hardly any exaggeration at all.

Y'all know what I hope? I hope someday I get to be MY daughter's salvation the way my Mom has been to me the past 24 hours.

Seriously. That there is some good mothering. The kinda motherin' that walks purposefully through the front door and immediately flows into every room, making that which has felt ominous or impossible seem perfectly bearable and doable again. Miraculous!

Had a visit with my OB today. Everything was goin' along just fine until it was time for my requisite (and highly-anticipated, I might add, as I had been sucking down water and Gatorade by the quart for 2 hours prior) appointment with the little-plastic-cup-behind-the-little-metal-door, whereupon I placed myself ever so delicately down onto the appropriate, um, vehicle, and immediately began panicking as the, uh, journey, shall we say, began against my will. Before I'd had time to properly arrange myself and the proper receptacle.

Well, I was unable to stop or even slow things down at all and found myself frantically juggling plastic cup, green Sharpie pen and Sharpie pen lid, hastening to get things into place before the moment was lost, when PLOOP, the Sharpie slipped out of my grasping, desperate hand and into ... DAH DAH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

The Potty.

OHMYGRANNY! I wheezed under my breath.

In one awkward yet synchronized motion, I managed to retrieve the pen, slam on its lid, get the cup where it needed to be and complete the mission as assigned, all the while thinking with no small measure of consternation and/or humiliation:

I dropped the PEN into the POTTY!

WITHOUT ITS LID ON!

I can't just put it back in the basket with the cups for the next unsuspecting person who comes along!

What'll I do now?


Well, what would y'all have done?

Yeah. I thought so.

That's not what I did though. Because that would have been too easy. Not humiliating enough. In short, completely unMeganlike.

Here's what I did.

I scrunched the pen way down into the garbage can, under some paper towels. I re-robed myself and washed my hands until they were raw. I collected my purse and my water bottle and I carefully wiped the water up from around the sink.

And then I stepped out of that restroom and and I faced the music.

"I... er... um... er... I... uh." I whispered to the waiting nurse. "I dropped the pen into the potty. (Embarrassed, pained smile.) So I thought it best to just throw the pen away. Hopefully you have another pen you can put in there?"

"YOU MEAN THE PEN YOU USE TO WRITE YOUR NAME ON THE SPECIMEN CUP? YOU DROPPED THAT ONE IN THE TOILET?"

Nod. (OHMYGRANNY.)

Sigh.



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11 comments:

  1. Oh my! Seriously how can that be that your gorgeous beaming boy is nearly one already?!
    Hope you have fun reminiscing :D
    Hehe "by Jove" ;)

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  2. Love it!!

    My Bug will be one tomorrow, too! I can't believe it!!

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  3. Get lots of pictures tomorrow! And post them of course. :)
    I know you said it and lots of other people WILL say it but still - I cannot believe it! I'm so happy for you, making it a full year as a new mom (even if it's the second time!) is an incredibly accomplishment and it's all yours. xoxo

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  4. I must say that what I think I would have done is this,
    1. remove said pen from said toilet.
    2. Scrub scrub that pen in the sink with lots of soap
    3. Dry the pen
    4. Check to see maybe if by some small chance it would write on said specimin cup.
    5. If it didn't, I'd take it up to the nurse and ask for another pen.

    Your way seems much better - my instinct is to try to fix the situation. So funny!!

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  5. Wow! One already? I can hardly believe it! Happy birthday Peanut!

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  6. Wow, hard to believe an entire year has gone by! Happy Birthday Peabody!

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  7. I can't believe it! It was only a few weeks ago that you announced your pregnancy!
    Happy Birthday Peabody!

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  8. Nuh uh, one year old already!! Wow!! Bittersweet, isn't it?

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  9. You made it through the first year with two kids! Congratulations Megan, you are now a true professional mamma.

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  10. This only proves how life is short and we should live every moment to the fullest. Happy birthday to your child! I wish you and your child the best of everything. Thanks for your great post. By the way, there's a new social networking site dedicated to parents and kids, it's called Bluepixo.com - it's a place for Moms, Dads, and Kids! Now, there’s even a chance to win a free iPod Nano!. It would be so nice of you to join our parents’ forums and polls. Thanks a lot and have a great day!

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  11. Happy birthday to your little man. :) I remember that post, and THAT makes me happy. I thrilled to be a long time reader. ♥

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Thoughts?