Look, I'm Not Altogether Proud of This

Twitter was abuzz yesterday with some of my favorite funny-peoples' ideas for Failed Children's Book Titles. I had to play along. I was helpless to fight it. I'm dieting, so I'd already used up all my will-power for the day feeding Bean Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and not eating any myself.

(Okay I had a spoonful. A serving spoonful. Or two. Okay! I cleaned out the pan with the serving spoon after I served her kid-sized portion. But I DID NOT just blatantly dish myself up a steaming hot bowl and sit down at the table and devour it merrily like I thought I deserved it. I horked it down guiltily over the kitchen sink with a long-handled wooden spoon. And that's not the same thing as eating it at all, as you and I both know.)

Anyway, these are some of the titles I Tweeted. I fully expect many of y'all will quickly come up with some hilarious ones, too, so please share them with me in the comments.

Curious George and the Automatic Meat Grinder with Sausage-Making Attachment

If You Give a Mouse a Feral Cat

Because We're Hoping This One Looks Less Like a Lizard: The Real Reasons Mommy & Daddy Are Having Another Baby

Cloudy with a Chance of Raw Veal Shanks

Guess How Much I'd Love to Sell You to The Gypsies?

Amelia Bedelia Washes the Toaster

Everybody Poops on the Potty: Don't Be Such a Lemming, Kid

Mr. Brown Can Knock Over a Liquor Store And Lead The Cops on a High Speed Chase That Ends in a Shootout at the Mall, Can You?

Caillou - Mob Boss

Curious George Goes To the Morgue

Ganja Weed For Sal

We're Going On A Beer Run

A Child's Complete History of Serial Murder (A Lift the Flap Book!)



And yes, I know. Some of these are bad. BAD BAD BAD. And disrespectful. And insensitive.

And you laughed. You know you did.



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