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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Kinda Makes Me Wanna Curl Up and Watch Old "White Shadow" Re-runs.

Halftime buzzer sounds, Bean and Peabody walk into the locker room, sweating but upbeat.

Bean: Great year so far, man.

Peabody: Yeah, we're really wearin' Mom down out there.

Bean: I was a little worried about you at first, kid. Those early weeks when you were sleepin' six hours or more at a time? Dude, I thought it was over for us before we even got started good.

Peabody: That's my thing, man. I lull 'em into a false sense of security, then I come at 'em hard when they let their guard down.

Bean: Yeah, you faked 'er out man, you faked 'er OUT. Startin' about that sixth week, you never let up. Three, four, sometime fives times a night you were gettin' her up outta bed. I coulda sat the bench and let you do it all yourself.

Peabody: Yeah, you sorta did, sis. (Friendly punch on the shoulder.)

Bean: Hey bro, I like to ease off a little every once in a while so I can power up and come back strong on 'er. But check you out, gettin' her up and then STAYIN' up. For hours! DAWG! You got more guts'n I've ever seen in a player your age.

Peabody: (Chuckles.) Heh. Guess I ate my Wheaties. But you get your shots in too, B. Man, I like that "I gotta poo-poo" thing. Had 'er 'bout completely upside down for awhile there. Awesome strategy. Dude you should COACH. And check out Dad's moves, too.

Bean: Uh huh. That alarm-clock-goin'-off-at-4:45-in-the-morning play - killin' her every. single. time.

Peabody: Dude is UN. CONSCIOUS.

Bean: Y'know, you gotta hand it to Dad, though. He may be the oldest player we got, but the guy's still in it to win it. He's got some trick plays up his sleeve that'd wake up the DEAD.

Peabody: A real team player, that guy.

Bean: Yeah.

Peabody: Yeah. Slap me some skin, dawg.

(High five.)

Bean: Welp, kid. You ready? Let's go finish 'er off.

Peabody: I'm on it, man. Never let 'er sleep, that's my motto.

(They walk out of the locker room and out through the tunnel to the arena.)

Bean: It shows. Hey, I'll take third quarter with a cold, a stomach virus and a few random nightmares and I-wanna-sleep-wif-yous.

Peabody: And I'll hit 'er hard in the fourth with the ol' I'm-learnin'-how-to-pull-up and I-can-crawl-out-this-crib combination.

Bean: (Re-tying a shoe lace on the sidelines) And I'm sure Dad's good for a Godawful-early morning meeting if we need a lay-up.

Peabody: Yeah man, we got this one in the bag. (Sheds his warm-ups and stretches.)

She'll never know what hit 'er.

(They both trot back out onto the court as the buzzer sounds.)


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29 comments:

  1. This is hilarious...I would definitely say you're in need of some serious sleep!

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  2. I don't care what anyabody says. That there is pee your pants funny!

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  3. Hahahahha... thanks for the laugh! It's a good thing they're cute, isn't it? ;)
    Sorry about the lack of sleep though. That stinks!

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  4. Oh my goodness. Oh my STINKIN' goodness. I'm d.y.i.n.g here.

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  5. Alright - I'm laughing out loud here! I think it's pretty good of you to go without sleep so your blogging audience can have a good laugh!

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  6. The thing that non-parents never understand is that there's this job called "parenting" that would be a whole lot easier (COUGH) if we just had some sleep.

    That's how those kids get us. It's the sleep thing. My oldest is 7 and I have not slept a good night since his BIRTH. Well, actually, 9 months BEFORE his birth.

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  7. I think sleep deprivation is making you dig deep and bring out some of the funniest stuff you got in ya, mama. This is CLASSIC. MUST go on your Okra at Her Best list.

    Probably you've done a little thinkin', writin', and re-writin' in the those wee hours, huh?

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  8. If you're blogging it does that mean there is light at the end of the tunnel? Too true and too funny. For us observers that is.

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  9. That was perfect! I swear that is what they are thinking at all times. Boo and Hunter were the same way! Drove me nuts, I swear they planned it.

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  10. Oh, that's hilarious! Hope Mama comes back with a huge win before the final buzzer! (I always cheer for the underdogs!)

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  11. oh my heavens I just about peed my pants laughing on that one. I feel the exact same way and I only have one. How could something so little be such a formidable foe??

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  12. Hysterically funny! And at the same time, so true...

    Nate's Mom

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  13. Classic.

    And quite possibly true. It does seem like they work together, doesn't it?

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  14. Awwww...I'm sorry you're not sleeping much! This is such a cute way to deal with your frustration, though! :) So much fun!

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  15. This might be your best work evah! Love it! Hilariously funny, and sadly true. Hang in there for the rebound mom!

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  16. It is so true - they absolutely are tag teaming you!

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  17. Hey, Bean and Peabody, keep up the good work! Apparently this lack-of-sleep thing is good for your mama's blog writing skillz cause this is hysterical.

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  18. Hilarious! I can just see all the endorsement deals coming in now!

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  19. Just when I thought you couldn't get any better! This is one of your best. I have some pain going on in my life right now...this was soooo good for me today. Cheryl

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  20. OY! I'm tired just readin' that one!!

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  21. Oh, very clever!! I hope they let you get a little rest this weekend.

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  22. I'm a lurker but absolutely love your blog...I have 2 little ones 20 months apart (3 and 18 mos) and it does get better. This was SOOO funny. You have a great way with words!!!

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  23. Aww, I'm sorry they're all ganging up on you! That's just NOT FAIR!! You feed them, and clean up after them, and clothe them, and love on them...and what do you get in return??? Oh, right. The smiles. And the giggles. And the snuggles. Right. It's almost and even trade.
    I've often wondered how you had time to get anything done. Now I know...you don't sleep. :o)
    Hopefully you'll get some rest this weekend.

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  24. {{giggles}} wishing you some sweet sleep in the near future, friend!

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  25. I'm not sure it is very friendly like to be giggling at your misfortune. Sorry! but....oh man..you are creative when you are sleep deprived. I think it is really doing a little something for you. :)

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  26. HAHAHAHAHA.

    Ha.

    Genius. Pure genius.

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  27. I'd swear that conversation is pretty close to reality! LOL...

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  28. That is hysterical! I hope you get some rest very soon!

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Thoughts?