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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Meanwhile, the Blog Sits at Home Singin' "Why Don't Write Me?"

Hey Y'all.

The rest of the FriedOkras and I are all just fine and dandy.

We slipped out the back, Jack.

Made a new plan, Stan.

Hopped on the bus, Gus.

Dropped off the key, Lee.


Yeah. All that Paul Simon-ish stuff. Also, ta-na-naa. Ta-nana-naaa. I've got diamonds on the soles of my shoes.

But I'll tell y'all about that part later.

Anyway, what I mean is, we've been on a little junket down to the homeland, and my-O-MY does it feel good to be down here in the sunshine. It's a wee might nippy, but the blue skies and brilliant sun make up for a few chill bumps and the need for light windbreakers. And well, hello? Chicago got eight (MORE) inches of snow within 24 hours of our hasty departure. Tomorrow we should see the mid-60s here. No snow in THIS forecast.

So we're down at the beach in South Carolina after days and days of drivin'. We stopped off in the Upstate to pay a long overdue visit to my parents (Oh the mother and child reunion is only a motion away) and see my Mom's fantastic new house, of which Al said this as we backed out of her driveway to come on down to the beach, (and you KNOW my mother, a Southern woman to her epicenter, is going to to shriek with laughter and pride when she reads it):

Man, your Mom's house is so beautiful. It looks like somebody set off a Southern Living bomb in there.


Yep. It appears Nana grabbed her up a box of ACME Freeze-Dried Perfect Southern Charm & Hospitality™, and per the instructions, Just Added Sweet Tea.

I will be SURE to take some pictures on the way back through later this week. (If Mama don't take my Kodachrome away.)

Lemme see, what else did I think of I wanted to tell y'all as I rode along in the car for 16 hours?

Oh, here's something.

Want a little sampling of what goes through the mind of a six-month-old who's been ridin' in the car for 13 hours and is now bein' put back into his carseat for the final leg of the journey?

Peabody's Brain: Here we go outside into the sun. Oh, this is nice! Mama's carrying me, smilin' and cooin' at me, it's all good, man. Nice necklace, Mama. Mind if I have a closer look? Maybe a taste?

Mama:Kkkkkkkkkkkkklllllllgh!!

Peabody's Brain: Wow! I made Mama make a neato noise. I wonder if I can make 'er do it again?

Mama:Kkkkkkkkkkkkklllllllgh!!

Peabody's Brain: Yep! I CAN make 'er do it again. One more time! Hey Ma--


What? WAITAMINUTE. Oh, I do not like the looks of this! Here's this sliding black door again. It's opening. OH NO! The dreaded car seat! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! NO! Not the car seat. Wheeeeeeee up we go and ... OH NO! I'm in the car seat! Get me outta here! OUT! OUT! I want OUT! Mama? Mama do you hear me? OUT!

I still like your necklace, though. Wow, it's shiny. Mesmerizing, really. Can I -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! NO! Not the straps! Don't strap me in! You're killing me. I'm dying here! NOT THE STRAPS! OW! MY ARM! You're breaking my arm! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! I can't believe you're doing this to me again. LOOK AT THIS FACE! Check out these gigantic blue eyes crying REAL TEARS here! Do you see these tears? These are the tears of a boy betrayed! I thought we were just going for a walk, Mama! Why? Why are you doing this to me? What? Oh. A toy! Wheeeeeeeeeee! It rattles! Let me have it let me have it let me have it.

Aha! Got it. I'll give it a go myself! YES! I made it rattle! Again! Again! Rattlerattlerattlerattle. Wheeeeeee that's fun. Hey, let's see how it tastes. Come to Peabody. Oops, that's my eye. OW! MY EYE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah. My eye!

Okay! Okay we're moving now! We're moving. Backwards! DAD? DAD? You do you know you're barreling down the interstate backwards, right? Hey Dad? DAD-DEEEEEEEEE! BACKWARDS, DADDY! Turn around! Bean? Tell Daddy we're going backwards, okay?

(This is why they call me Baby Driver.)

Okay. Okay. I DO NOT LIKE THIS. Stop the car and let me out. LET ME OUT! I've been in this car for TWO DAYS NOW and enough is enough. LEMME OUTTA HERE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I said WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Wait. I feel a little sleepy. Waaaaaaaah. Wah. Yawn. Wah? Yawn. Blink blink.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.



-----------------

Actually the car ride went amazingly smoothly for all of us. Peabody napped off and on and only cried when we were due a stop to eat anyway. And Bean? Well, despite the fact that she literally started askin' "Are we there yet?" BEFORE WE WERE EVEN OUT OF OUR SUBDIVISION, she did remarkably well. She's a kid, right? All it takes is a "new" vehicle with a full complement of child-friendly features including ARM RESTS! THAT MOVE UP AND DOWN LIKE THIS MAMA!, the promise of the occasional stop at the Golden Arches and a daily dip in a (F-F-F-FREEZING) hotel swimming pool and this kid?

Would gladly make a vacation of just drivin' circles around Chicago in the rental van for ten days.

So we're all good.

We'll let you know when we're Homeward Bound.

(You know I had to say that.)



*Random quotes from Paul Simon song titles and lyrics. I know it's all a bit weird, but the rental van came equipped with satellite radio, and I've been singin' my heart out since we pulled down the driveway leavin' FriedOkra Manor. Gosh, I love me some (ahem) oldies.






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22 comments:

  1. I don't know if it's the sun, the food or spending quality time with your loved ones but it certainly seems like the winter blues are Gone At Last. You're one funny lady when you're happy!!

    Have a Good Time

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  2. Megan I love all the song references - too funny! I love me some Paul Simon so bring it on girl! Glad you're gettin' a down home trip - have a wonderful time in the Souff :)

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  3. Oh, how (painfully) I understand. We start our 16+ hour journey homeward on Friday morning. I am SO not looking forward to it. SO. NOT.
    If only Dave would invent a working teleporter.
    Enjoy your visit!!!

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  4. Oh, I do love some Paul Simon. That was a heroic job.
    Hope your trip is wonderful!

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  5. Enjoy it honey, you deserve the break and change of scene. Stay breezy sweetheart xxxxx

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  6. I must know, will you be Going to Graceland on your way home? Enjoy your trip and post some pics when you get back.

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  7. I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE BACK AND POSTING AGAIN WITH YOUR HILARIOUS POSTS BECAUSE I MISSED YOU!!!

    I almost apologize for the all-caps, but not quite. You are so entertaining, you left us in a bit of dark depression while you were AFK, woman!

    Your rendition of Peabody being kidnapped into the carseat was so hilarious, I imagined the expression changes!
    Warn the girlifriend to be careful not to pinch her adorable arms or pinkies on the most-fun movable arm rests!

    Keep on being one of my top favorite bloggers, ladyfriend!!

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  8. How did I miss you were in Chicago too? You look kind of familiar, you're not my neighbor, are you?

    Have a great trip!

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  9. Too funny! I love the Peabody impression - I could picture it. Now I can't wait to see pictures of a place that had a Southern Living bomb go off in it!

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  10. On your way back through the Upstate, would you stop by my momma's house too?? Tell her I said Hey?

    Enjoy your vacation in the good old SC!

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  11. Glad to see you're gettin' a heapin' helpin' of Southern exposure. I'd say that was just what the doctor ordered. Can you bring a little sun back with you? We shore could use it!

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  12. Oh man. I love how I feel like I just took a road trip with a baby and a toddler. And thank goodness I'm already IN the South and don't have to. :)

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  13. Yer killin me. Love that you sound so rested and ready to have some vacation time with mama. Enjoy it. :)

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  14. Ahhhh yes. The carseat scream of terror. We heard it Sunday when we buckled Teyla into hers after a four-hour airplane ride. That sweet thing screamed bloody murder the whole way home, writhing as if someone was touching her with a thousand hot coals. She was FURIOUS.

    So glad you're having fun in the sun. We went to South Carolina last February; Corey's parents spend the winter months on the coast there.

    ENJOY!

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  15. Sounds like you are lappin' up just what the doctor ordered. Enjoy every minute of it.

    And the Baby Driver? HI-larious!

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  16. Just the break that was needed. Enjoy your vaca!

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  17. Ok Peabody just cracked me up in the car :-) thanks for that!

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  18. Wow, you're back here in South Kakilaki so close! LOL! Wonderin' which beach you are visiting? Myrtle? Hilton Head? Charleston? We always go to Wild Dunes on Isle of Palms in the summer to just soak up the laid-back coastal atmosphere and the sunshine!

    I can't speak for how cold Chicago is, (or even imagine that much snow) but it's been quite nippy here in the mornings lately...I was thinking spring was upon us a few weeks ago b/c it was so warm!

    Anyway, enjoy your visit!

    Love in Christ,
    Angela

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  19. Paul Simon - always a good choice. Perfect road trip music and it is in no way an oldie! Hope that your trip continues to be fantastic!

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  20. Lol! I can totally feel for Peabody! My daughter hates long drives too. I wish there was a way for long drives to be fun for kids. After some time in the car, my daughter does not seem to enjoy it anymore.

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  21. You make me laugh! I love Peabody's conversation. So TRUE!

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  22. I have nursed babies in carseats - and not while I was driving, of course - to keep them quiet. Oh, my aching back.
    Glad to have you blogging again! xo

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Thoughts?