Wednesday, October 22, 2008

You See the Irony Here, Don't You? Mama Spends All Her Time Giving Baby Nature's Perfect Food; Consquently The Rest of The Family Eats Garbage

From my pal Julie:

My question is about food.

We all know how much you love cooking in your kitchen. With everything else going on around you (like the kids) what if anything has changed about your action in the kitchen?

The kitchen... hmm... the kitchen. Let's see now. That's the room downstairs with all the countertops and the big box that makes hot and the other big box that makes cold, right?

Since Peabody arrived, my kitchen has suffered some, um, neglect. Ahem. Now as you'll recall, my neighbors took darned good care of us in the food department for about a month after the little chap was born. And my mom and sister visited, too, and the two of them whipped up enough food to feed us for weeks on end, because they are women, and they are Southern, and that's what they do.

But long about mid-September, the food well? She started to dry up. And I was faced with the task of feedin' this family on my own again, handicapped as it were with a baby slung over my midsection, fussily demanding that I remain in motion at all times.

Have you ever tried to dice an onion or grate a carrot while waltzing bouncy circles around and around your kitchen island?

Well, don't.

(Holds up several bloody finger-stumps.)

So. In the interim, we've eaten some of those questionable boxed one-dish "meals." (New! Sodium Stew! Just add Hypertension Meds!)

And we have pizza and Chinese on speed dial. Numbers 1 and 2. (Aha, Mrs. FryOkra, hello again. Driver already on way now with regular order. How did we know? Oh, just call it lucky guess.)

And I try to do some ACTUAL cooking when I can, but y'all? You gotta know your culinary skills have atrophied when you're completely stymied as to what to make for dinner because there isn't a can of Campbell's Cream of Whatever soup in the house.

Hmm. (Roots around in fridge and pantry.) Got chicken. Got rice. Got veggies. OH NO. No soup! We'll STARVE! I can't make a darn thing out of this without a can of Cream of Sump'm!

(Punches #2 on phone.)

Also, I don't relish the idea of going to the grocery store lately. Wonder why? So we find ourselves making do some days. To a very, very large degree.

Hmmm, anybody know what to make with a can of green chile enchilada sauce and a half a bag of stale Donettes?

Right, then.

(Picks up phone.)

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  1. i go in and out but mostly OUT of any type of cooking. i was ready to grill 2 chickens tonight that i had prepped at simply dish and of course the grill is out of gas, so i am trying to cook them in the oven, but i have no idea about the degress the time - i have a feeling i will be chucking these chickns in the garbage.

  2. I never cook very much, because my hubby & I work at a retreat center & we get to take leftovers home each week, so that's really nice. I probably cook 3 meals a week. But Hubby helped me cook for those first few months.

    I remember being SO hungry (from nursing) and so exhausted that I didn't want to make anything, and I would just take a couple pieces of plain bread out of the bag & CHOW DOWN. It was ridiculous. :) Wheat bread at 3 am? MMMMM. :)

  3. My mother instituted "snack it" night and "breakfast supper" for just this reason. Grits, sausage and biscuits, or grilled cheese and fruit. That's all the food groups, right?

  4. Great post Megan! This really made me laugh because I can TOTALLY relate to what you're saying, as I'm in the same situation right now with a one month old baby nursing 'round the clock. And your title is just so profound - I love it! You know it's really bad when your husband calls "Ramen" a home-cooked meal...

  5. Yes. Yes. Yes. And, Yes. I gave up on trying to make dinner before Mookie goes to sleep. Dave and I just starve (or snack) until she's asleep and then I can make something. :o)
    But I like Hat Chick's comment about breakfast-for-dinner. I call it "quick, easy, and done."
    Keep up the good work with your two adorable little ones! :o)

  6. I have to laugh but i totally know how you feel. I find myself cooking one to many of those box meals now a days!

  7. Had to click through today because the title is my life, STILL! We do lots of breakfast for dinner (had breakfast tacos last night!) and lots of low maintenance stuff.

    Seems like when Dacey was Peabody's age, I could still count on a late afternoon catnap for the dinner prep hour. AJ? NOT SO MUCH. I found nothing wrong with popping in a Baby Einstein and sitting her in a bouncy seat for half an hour to see what I could get whipped up in that short time. I'm a great mom like that. ;)

    Also, when she got to five months, I started wearing her on my back in an Ergo while I cooked. That was really a great solution and sometimes she even snoozed while I danced around the kitchen, flinging food and washing dishes that had collected in the sink all day.

    You're doing GREAT work, mama, and as you know, it's just for a season. XOXO

  8. You have a way with words that makes me laugh because you remind me of my early days raising and nursing 4 babies in a row!
    Only it didn't seem funny to me when it was happening. Now I can look back and have fond memories and tell stories/listen to stories we rememeber.
    I was member of a large church that helped us out those first month(s) and then it was "MagicMommaMakeMealsOutOfThinAirSoWeDon'tStarve"!

  9. Yeah, I remember those early baby days - we lived on a combination of Subway and take-out Chinese food from this place on the corner that it turned out was ALSO selling machine guns and heroin! (but the food was mmm-mmm good.)
    You'll get your food groove back. Really.

  10. Am I allowed to STILL be doing this? My little man is almost 2 and I just can't seem to get it all together, most days. Tonight I have green beans and new potatoes... I seem to have forgotten something, what was that???? Oh yeah, the meat. Oh well, we'll just have meat twice tomorrow.

  11. I've never commented before, but have been reading your blog since diaryland days. I just have to say that I feel your pain, in more ways than one. Well minus the small toddler part. I have a little boy who was born around the same time as yours (8/8/08) and am trying to stay afloat. My poor kitchen is neglected until my hubby gets home after his 3-4 day shift. Then we finally have a chance to "cook" a meal. Otherwise, I'm left with leftovers and bagged frozen meals for the rest of the week. I have to wait for my hubby to come home to on Fridays to grocery shop because my son does not like to be put down or held by anyone else who is not MAMA. And he will let you know it! So I need extra hands to push carts, and throw in the items we need. We also don't go anywhere without a list of what it is we need because time is obviously of the essence. (Grocery shopping with my hubby is still stressful. I have to put the baby in a sling, pat his bottom continuously and keep moving. Heaven forbid I stop any of those because the flood gates will open and little one will be MAD! You can almost hear the "what is she doing to that poor baby" if you stay to hear it.)

    I won't even get into the whole not sleeping at night for longer than three hours at a stretch. Or the not taking a bottle of breast milk from Dad while Mama is at the dentist... :)

  12. OH Megan, I'm just rolling on the floor laughing. Been there, done that. Still there most days! I love it!

  13. Megan, I just love the way you write! You are just so darn FUNNY, and I laugh and laugh like I'm reading a QUALITY comedy story. Seriously, you have such a talent, and I'm fit to bursting with pride over you! I love that you moved to blogger and have just blossomed here. It warms my heart to watch it happen! And allll your readers! I know this is nothing to do with your life right now - little ones, cooking and daily things, but I have been meaning to make this comment for such a long time, and finally it has occurred to me to DO it while I'm actually at your blog, for once! :) Love your writing. Could easily get addicted to your writing. You're also an excellent mama-type-person. What a multi-talented woman! xxx

  14. I know well the dilemma of which you speak. For a while there, I thought I was going to die if I ate another Stouffer's lasagna.

    But then, it got a little easier. And I made peace with having very simple meals. I could throw a couple of chicken breasts (bone-in) into the oven to roast in less than 5 minutes. Put it together with some peas (from the freezer) and some oven-baked polenta (also made in 5 minutes) and I'd call it a meal.