Thursday, October 16, 2008

Adding Up The Total of a Love That's True, Multiply Life by the Power of Two [Well, in this case, Four]

Overheard in the car last night on our FDANB. (First Date After New Baby)

M: It's just an adjustment phase, honey. It won't be like this forever. We've added a whole 'nother human being to our lives. Other than subtracting a human being, that's surely the biggest adjustment a family could ever make, right?

A: Oh, yeah, I know it's an adjustment phase.

M: Well, I guess I just have to keep reminding myself of that more than anyone else. Sometimes I get panicky thinkin' it's gonna be like this forever.

A: Nah, it won't be like this forever. (Reaches over and holds my hand.) Another 17 years and 10 months. (Pause) And then we'll be back to normal again, just like that. (Snaps.)

But I'm fine y'all. Seriously! We're all fine. I don't mean to worry you. I just mean to share the ups and downs and ins and outs and the humanity (OH THE HUMANITY) and the vulnerability and, well, the temporary insanity of our lives right now. If I got on here every day and told you everything was hunky dorey, easy peasy, peachy keen, you'd know for sure I was shoveling you some, uh, MANURE, right?

And you'd also start to wonder what or who you might find dissolving in some 50 gallon drums in my basement. (Ooops! Too macabre? Well, it IS October!)

I firmly believe you'd have to be crazy not to be a little crazy in this particular stage of parenting.

So if you're worryin' about the residents of FriedOkra Manor, rest easy. We're 100% all good.

What? You want proof?

Okay then.


See? All Good!

(But thank y'all for praying for us and giving us so much empathy and love lately. What a huge blessing you are on our lives right now!)

*Title adapted from Indigo Girls' Power of Two

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  1. YOU LOOK FABULOUS! And, that little guy is to die for cute.

  2. And she will love him and hug him and call him Peanut. (Please tell me you get my Bugs Bunny reference.) Awww! Such a cute couple.

    I love that you're keeping it real. It makes me feel more sane, that the torture I remember from when Princess was an infant was real and not just a figment of my imagination. But it is all worth it. The hugs, the smiles, the kisses! Oh, the kisses and the snuggles!! All. worth. it.

  3. Awww...what a cute picture!!! My little one is 10 months old now, and it has gone SOOO fast! :)

    Megan, I so wish you & Toddled Dredge & some others were going through this before or when I was, because I felt so alone those first couple months, and I felt like, Parenting isn't supposed to be this hard is it? And I would go to church & hand my perfectly-behaved (at church, of course) newborn over to the nursery ladies, and they would say all these things like, "Oh, he's so precious...such an EASY, GOOD baby...isn't this newborn stage FUN...does he EVER cry?" And I thought, "No, I'm NOT having's so hard...I'm crying all the time...what's wrong with me???" Glad to hear that others go through that, too...although I only have one...but it's good to know ahead of time that it will be difficult the 2nd time around, too (no announcements forthcoming, I'm just saying). :)

  4. AWWWWW - how SHHWEET!!!! Love the pic and that y'all got to go on a DATE! What exactly is a date?

    Any big plans for tomorrow? Hard to believe that you have a 4-year old (and of course a 10-week old)!!

    Hugs to everyone

  5. You look beautiful.

    And I think it would be totally NOT normal if you were'nt going through an adjustment period AKA being crabby and petty arguing with each cause you're both so darn TIRED.
    It will get better! But only for a little while cause once they hit the tween years watch out cause OH THE DRAMA. Makes me wish they were babies again that woke up 4 times a night.

  6. That is the cutest picture, makes me ache for another cutie to hold.
    Having a second is an adjustment, I am thinking of you. When our #3 joined the family it was a world of difference, not easy but calmer and more manageable.

  7. I just love, love, love that picture! You two are sooo cute! Tell Al that between now and 17 years and 10 months there will be lots of phases to go through. And - you'll be fine, one day and one phase at a time!

  8. Very cute picture! Thanks for sharing your "real" life with us!

  9. I totally feel your pain - I love, love, love my 4 week old - but I had no idea it would be this hard!!!

  10. that is one beautiful baby there, mama! hang in there, love!!

  11. Its all good I can tell.. too cute that little one is..

  12. You BOTH look totally cute. My, he's getting big.

    And here's a revelation that hit me about 6 years ago -
    it won't stop at age 18. I foresee myself worrying over these guys until oh, forever.

    Oh, my grannies (as someone I know likes to say!), if that isn't exhausting, I don't know what is.

    But it's what makes my world go round - and makes it worth going around. :)

  13. Gorgeous photo!!

    I grapple with the discordance of loving a little one so entirely, yet at the same time feeling angry or restless... I think it is so normal to have this ambivalence and for myself I am always just working on not judging it just self-acceptance!

  14. Aw!!!! That photo makes me want to wrap my arms around the both of you and squeeze!

    Hang on in there honey, you know it passes and one day you'll turn around and wonder when it was life started getting easier. For me it was in 3 months, then 6 months, then 9 months then 12 months everything would ease up a little bit :) Not long till the first one!

  15. What an adorable picture!
    This, too, shall pass.

  16. Hormones and sleep deprivation and the juggling and the life that just seems to be two steps ahead of you and you can't quite catch up! "Wait...slow down...just let me CATCH UP!" I have three children ALL in very different stages...14yrs...9yrs...and 2ys :) The first year of my sons life (I had my girls first-so he's the baby) was really hard for me. I kept trying to reevaluate my situation and try different things and I struggled. My initial thoughts on having another baby was..."We are just adding one more!" Oh what an understatement! Hang in there! Give YOURSELF alot of grace!

  17. So glad you got a grownup night out! It took us 18 months to get to that {blushing} and it was SO wonderful...

    You look fantastic, darlin! Lovin your haircut, and Mr. Peabody is just so cute!

  18. Some day you'll look back at that photo and wonder where the time flew. You'll miss snuggling that little warm person and wonder how he got so big so fast.

    I have a son who towers over me now yet still has to have goodnight hugs and tells me funny things.

    Oh and wait till he learns to talk! \o/
    You both look great...your shining hair complements your young, caring and pretty face. Peanut looks curious, sign of a good learner!

    Hang in there,'s all a learning, growing process.