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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Maybe Al Should Have a Blog. He's Clearly a Very Talented Writer.

Howdy! Hope y'all all had a lovely Labor Day weekend!

Frankly, it's a little tough to distinguish a holiday day from just a reg'lar ol' day when there's a newborn in household, but we managed to pile into the family truckster yesterday for our first official outting as a family of four. To ... Da Duh Duh DAAAAAAAH: The Tar-jay.

Yeah, well, we were runnin' low on Huggies, orange juice, milk and pickle relish (and you can't appropriately celebrate Labor Day without plenty of relish, people). We also stopped by the Payless to measure Bean's feet.

The child has outgrown her first official pair of back-to-school shoes, y'all. And school doesn't start for another week-and-a-half! Sigh. So I wanted to run in Payless and make free use of their nifty foot measuring device so I could then hie me hither back to my laptop and order up some shoes from a completely different merchant. Only DAWG, I cannot find a pair of plain old white, matches-everything-and-doesn't-have-pink-rhinestones-or-little-Doras-or-lights-or-a-dang-you-know-what-PRINCESS on 'em athletic shoes to save my ever-lovin' life. Well, for under $50 I mean. Which, ARE YOU KIDDING ME, YOU WANT $71 DOLLARS FOR A PAIR OF SHOES SMALLER THAN MY HAND, THAT'LL BE WORN FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF AND DON'T BEAR THE NAME "JIMMY" OR "MANOLO?" or a red leather sole?

Yeah, um: No.

I just want some shoes that cover the whole foot and have Velcro closures or sump'm Bean can do up herself instead of laces I've got to tie, because let's face it, shoes with laces may well push the needle on my Things-I-gotta-do-for-itty-bitty-people-in-order-for-us-all-to-get-out-the-door-ometer way up into the WHOOPS-DARN-IT-WOMAN-YOU'VE-DILLY-DALLIED-AROUND-TOO-LONG-AND-NOW-IT'S-BEDTIME-AGAIN Zone. Not even Keds has what I want, and they're usually my go-to for Bean's sneaks, but this time? Nothin'.

Geez. Where was I?

Oh yeah, so anyway we had our first family outting and it went pretty well once we got out of the subdivision and Mr. Peabody stopped screaming so hard all four of our brains were nearly 'bout exploding, and fallen into his post-traumatic stress syndrome coma-sleep. Ridin' in a carseat is apparently the worst possible thing that can ever happen to a three-week-old. Did you know this? It was news to me, but then again it's been awhile since I was three weeks old, so it stands to reason I'd need re-edjumacatin' about such horrors.

(It wasn't all that pleasant for the three-year-old nor the forty-plus set, either, come to think of it.)

But thanks to all that awfulness, once he passed out, the little dude stayed asleep long enough for us to get our errands run AND for me to finally write his birth story. Now, look, people, it's a Birth Story. It has all kinds of birth-related details and pictures of a semi-graphic nature, so here's what I did for my two male readers: After I got done writing my womanly, every-moment-fully-documented-in-living-color-leavin'-little-room-for-imagination novel, I asked Al to write his own version of Matthew's arrival, just for y'all boys, to spare you a huge dose of Oh-help-me-please-I've-somehow-died-and-come-back-as-the-sole-guy-at-a-Sundy-afternoon-baby-shower-settin'-on-the-flowerdy-divan-drinkin'-lime-sherbert-punch-with-a-gaggle-of-broody-dames Agony:

Matthew's Birth Story
by Al

My wife was pregnant for what seemed like an eternity. Then I drove her to the hospital and she gave birth to a bouncing baby tax-write-off. The End.

The rest of y'all can go read the full and painfully-long story rightcheer.

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And speaking of bein' born and stuff, there's a bit of a re-birth goin' on over at Blissfully Domestic today. All new site, fresh, hip design, great new contributors (I'm still there but I don't have a post up right now because hey, I'm up to my eyeballs in fresh new Huggies at the moment). Y'all go check it out, okay? I think you'll be impressed, I surely do.

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And hey, I'm on my own for the next four days with these two little folks, so I may be somewhat scarce around here. But if I am, y'all don't give up on me, please? I'm living on your comments and emails and lovely words of laughter and support and advice right now. They keep me tethered to reality and sanity, and I know you know what I mean.



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18 comments:

  1. This is my first Labor Day "up north" and my NY boyfriend threw a fit when he realized I had put relish in the deviled eggs and potato salad! However, this was after he had eaten more than one helping of each so it must not have tasted too bad......glad y'all had a successful trip out of the house!

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  2. Haha I love Al's version! Cut-to-the-chase huh ;)

    Wow that girlof yours grows fast! We just got Jaya's first school shoes last week and like you I wanted to avoid the pink/Dora/rhinestonmes catagory but also wanted to take full advantage of the fact that she goes to a school with no uniform (unusual in the UK) so therefore doesn't have to get the strict black leather pair. After a few "discussions" over some pink ones we managed to agree on a silver pair that pleases me by matching everything and Jaya by being sparkly hehe!

    Well done for that first family trip, every time you do somethinglike that it doesn't seem half as hard the next time. God luck for the next four days, I'll be thinking of you, we're on our own at the moment too :(

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  3. If I have enough time before we board the airplane and I lose my wi fi signal I'm off to read Matthew's birth story.

    Been MIA myself the past few days. I was stuck visiting my in-laws. They only have one internet connection for their computer. So I didn't have the ability to stay in touch, read blogs AND I had to be around my mother-in-law. I was never so excited to be sitting in an airport with extra time on my hands.

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  4. Oh, I was thinking of you yesterday... had a big basket of fried okra at a TX BBQ house!

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  5. I, too, know the frustration of searching for simple, white tennis shoes. I think retailers have conspired together to produce ONLY things that scream GIRL or BOY. Quite maddening when shopping for things that could be handed down, like winter coats and snow pants. Seriously, only pink and purple or red with cars?

    Teyla also hated the carseat with a white-hot passion. And she had to be in it at least twice each day, since I drive her big sister back and forth to school. It was a nerve-jangling spring. Thankfully, she's over that now. But it took MONTHS.

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  6. That Al has a way of getting right to the point! That's how Bob would write it too! I'm off to read the whole story!

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  7. I was laughing so hard at your hubby's version of the labor. Truly, men are simple creatures. Gotta love 'em!

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  8. Yeah for the first outing!!

    We had three born in December, so my husband was all about getting labor going to squeeze in those tax write offs!!

    Good luck with the shoes... my girl only wants pink and purple!! Don't know where she got it from having only older brothers!

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  9. Yep! Carseat = 3 week old screamin' around here, too.

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  10. Boo hated the car seat until she was.... oh wait, she STILL hates it.

    Good luck with the shoe thing. I did end up getting some cheap get-me-through white shoes (in plain white) at Wal-Mart. Not sure exactly what you are looking for though.

    And I love Al's birth story. It's a lot like what Kent would write, I'm sure!!

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  11. I loved Al's version. Such a cut to the chase kinda man. Perfect.

    Yeah family outting! Sometimes the first time is the hardest, but besides the screaming it sounds pretty successful.

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  12. You didn't say what size shoe Bean wears ... but if she is in an 10 or under ...

    http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.asp?product_id=1006495&variant_id=25871

    Emily had several pair of these in all different sizes and Molly STILL wears them. They go with everything.

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  13. Hugs to you, sweet dear! Hope all goes well the next few days, and glad you made it out of the house! Hope Peanut gets adjusted right quick to the carseat, eventually Sweetpea realized the vibes from the carseat were downright mesmerizing...eventually, that is.
    Not sure what size Bean is, but I was amazed when I FINALLY stumbled on some adorable and reasonably neutral velcro shoes on the inner endcap at Target (hey, weren't you just there?) last week for between $10-20 a pair - how did I not know this before?
    Now, off to read Peanut's birth story!
    Take care,
    Steph

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  14. Just spent the holiday weekend with the kids and grandkids and our little one (7 weeks old) cried for close to half an hour while we were driving home from shopping - just because she was mad about being stuck in the car seat when someone's arms would be so much more comfortable!

    Don't worry, it gets easier - when they turn 18 and head off to college! :-)

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  15. *GASP* A single mom for four days, with a newborn?! Oh my. Bless you, sista.

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  16. Tell me about it! Shoes for the kidos are expensive! And my boys feet grow like weeds!

    Nice story by AL. Can't think of anything else to say about that.

    OK, gonna go read yours now.

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  17. Congrats on your new little one!

    You should have waited to buy her shoes. I am in the same boat except my little giant grew out of his pants a month before school! I would recommend Target they have a great selection and more reasonable than most places.

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  18. Like this-

    http://www.keds.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=546&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=225&iSubCat=255&iProductID=546

    I am off to read the birth story.

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Thoughts?