Monday, September 15, 2008

I Can Already Tell Y'all, This One is Goin' Nowhere Fast

As I write this on Sunday afternoon, the boys are a-snooze in front of the Patriots/Jets game and the girl's a-snooze in her room. I just finished up my first post back at 5 Minutes for Parenting, which airs this morning, by the way, while simultaneously doin' the weekly laundry, including all of my maternity clothes, which I'm washing so I can put them away, plus a bunch of new 0-3 month sleepers and outfits for my Beanstalk (as in Jack & The Beanstalk) of a boy.

Seems like by the time I locate, purchase, wash, fold and put away a wardrobe of the appropriate size for this boy he's already outgrown 'em. And Bean's apparently caught the growin' bug, too, because the child's going through shoe sizes faster than I can get 'em buckled on her feet, people.

At this rate I'll be flat broke by next Wednesday and guess what? I need a new pair of jeans AGAIN because the ones I finally bought last year won't stay up.

Or mebbe I should just take that as an excuse to eat more?

Honey, it's either a gallon of Rocky Road or a pair of Sevens - take your pick.

(I hope he chooses the Rocky Road.) (Yum.)

We had a lot of rain this weekend thanks to Hurricane Ike (I hope y'all in Texas and along the Gulf fared okay - I've had you in my prayers!), so we've been cooped up at home for 48 hours straight except that we DID finally get to go to our diner around the corner again for our customary Saturday breakfast, which we haven't done since the Saturday before Peanut was born. Oh, people, it felt so good to be back among the other reg'lars, drinkin' diner cawffee and eatin' fried eggs and corn beef hash and Bean's favorite pam-pakes. The gang was warm and welcoming and SO glad to finally see Peanut in the flesh. We all got hugs and kisses and slaps on the back and Peanut slept like the proverbial baby the whole visit, thank goodness, as Al and I ate through gritted teeth, wincing and grimacing at the din of diner-typical chatter, clatter, clinks and clangs.

When Peanut ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, folks.

And then I had quite the scare Saturday night. After I'd fed Peanut at 1:00 AM I stopped by my computer to check e-mail. (I know. Nuts.) In my in-box I found an email from a neighbor with an article attached about a couple of unsavory characters who'd been casing a nearby neighborhood by posing as sales reps from a company that sold educational tools. They'd been going door to door under the guise of "surveying" mothers, but were actually attempting to determine who was home when, thus providing the would-be burglars prime opportunity to come back and steal all their valuables.

Yeah. Nice, huh? I keep sayin' we need to get a No Soliciting sign for the entry to our subdivision, but then again if you're already a criminal I guess a No Soliciting wouldn't slow you down much, huh?

Well, anyway, the article provided a physical description of these characters and my neighbor declared they'd been at HER door a few days earlier and we should all be very careful about opening the door to strangers and answering any personal questions they might ask.

My blood ran cold when I realized that I'd been visited by one of these creeps last week as well. And BEAN had answered the door. I was about two steps behind her, but she'd gotten to the door first and had stood there alone a second or two before I arrived. I'd told the young woman I was extremely busy at the time and when she tried to pin me down on a time when she could come back, I am proud to say I failed to throttle that nasty sarcasm I've been tryin' to keep in check and I said, "Oh, I'm pretty much ALWAYS here."

Ha ha! Foiled your evil plan there, didn't I, bad guys?

But no kiddin', I did get pretty worked up thinking about what COULD have happened, because I really have not been the sharpest knife in the drawer lately, and so of course I woke up poor Al from a deep sleep to whimper to him all about what I'd read and my encounter with this woman and he listened and asked a few questions and snarled out an "Oh I'd like to see 'em TRY to rob MY house!" or two, and then today he and Bean went out and bought enough bolts and locks and chains to secure Fort Knox and Al's been affixin' those to all our doors this afternoon. And that is in addition to our door and window alarms and motion sensor and the rabid pit bull chained to my chrysanthemum pot out on the front porch.

(Broadus, as he is called, is not in the front porch picture above because he feels strongly that he needs cosmetic dental work and thus is embarrassed and refuses to be photographed.)

What I'm saying is that Ms. Ain't Life Grand and Idyllic Out Here On the Prairie Where Everybody Knows Everybody Else and Nothin' Bad Ever Happens got her rose-colored glasses smacked off her nose in one fell swoop. And I don't like it. I was enjoying my innocence, darn it, and now I just feel icky and weird in my own home.

The angry prairie dog was one thing, you know, but this really scares me.

None of this is leading to a point, by the way. I hope y'all've figured that out by now. I'm just tellin' you what's been goin' on around here, the good, the bad, and the dentally-challenged ugly. 'Cause that's about all my poor little weary brain can muster lately.

What'd y'all do this weekend?

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  1. Happy Monday morning. Point or not, your blogs are always a joy to read.
    Bean sure has come along way since her 1st swim lesson, so proud of her.

  2. Although if you all DO post a No Soliciting sign at least you'll know it's probably an unsavory character at the door. I'd be nervous too.
    I'm glad you got a chance to have your regular Saturday morning. It's great when you start getting back into your normal routine, isn't it? :)

  3. I was wondering where you went. Glad you are well. :-)

  4. I like waffly no-point blog entries. It feels nice and friendly-like as if I'm just sat at your kitchen table with you :)

    Pass the rocky road will ya ;)

  5. I am off to read your article on 5 minutes!

  6. This weekend we took Princess to a birthday party at one of those bounce house places. I hurt in places that haven't hurt since I trained for that 5K last year.

    Oh, want to know scary. I've had two incidents shake up my world. Twice I had the displeasure of waking up to criminal activity near my sleeping quarters. Once I had to call the police because of some strange activity going on near my mom's house at almost midnight.

    The second was a drug bust on my street at 2AM. I love my two attack setters. Who both have very healthy teeth. And run very very fast. And are uber protective of Princess.

  7. That is pretty scary! So glad that you got a heads up from your neighbor. That is great.

    Yeah Saturday routine. That must have been wonderful, even with the noise levels.

  8. I'm impressed you have the mental capabilities to check e-mail at 1:00 AM. When I get up to feed Teyla (which really MUST STOP), I'm so brain dead, I'm just happy to make it back to my bedroom without crashing into a wall.

    Welcome back. :-)

  9. Thank you for making me laugh...I'm writing from Houston here...thank you for the well wishes regarding nasty old Ike...we tried to tell him that Tina didn't live here but he didn't listen!! We had a little damage (downed trees, leaking roof, buckled siding, downed fence) and were without power for about 24 hours. Thank God it is back on. My sisters have a lot more damage and are STILL without power. The lines at the stores that are open are awful. Please keep the Gulf Coast in your is a mess down here! Do you know that we have the door to door people surveying moms here in good old Katy, TX too??? They came to my door about 3 months ago. It's some scary stuff...and ticks me off a bit, too!! Everyone, please continue to keep the residents of the gulf coast in your prayers, we need it!

  10. It is a scary feeling to have your veneer of safety removed...

    I guess we all kind of live in a fantasy about it most of the time, but i do hope you feel better and the new locks help!!

  11. That is SCARY. Good thing you have that pit bull, eh?

  12. #1 - I don't think it's fair that your jeans are falling off when your baby is only about 6 weeks and mine have never fit since my baby was born, 20 years ago!
    #2 - I'm glad you got to go out for your Saturday morning ritual again.
    #3 - that's pretty scary - you gave just the right answer!

  13. Ugh. I don't think there's much worse than feeling unsafe in your own home. :(

    We had some creepy people robbing stay-at-home Mom's after their husbands went to work a few towns away last year and I think about it EVERY stinkin' morning (even they caught them).

    Hang in there girlie....and go get those new jeans :)

  14. Wow. Talk about a run-on sentence. And I meant to say "even THOUGH they caught them".


  15. Just gotta love breastfeeding!!! I wish I could burn calories that easily now!

    By the way, didn't use "the washcloth" today, but I did leave my undies on TOP of my pile of clothes at the ob-gyn today. I felt like such a rebel!!!

  16. Oh Megan, I have been such a terrible friend!


    I am so sorry that I missed the birth of your new baby boy. I promise to be better.

    I hope you are all so deliciously happy!


  17. I hear ya. I was talking to a "vaccuum salesman" in my driveway one day when two cops pulls and PUT HIM IN THE CAR!!


  18. Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your thief experience! I'm glad it turned out okay and that you weren't nice to the woman and gave her the right answer...I hope they catch the group ASAP.

    Take care, darlin'!