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Monday, August 4, 2008

Warning: Read Aster(own)risk.

Happy Monday, y'all!

That exclamation point's completely gratuitous and basically a big fat lie, by the way, because Mama ain't in an exclamation point kinda place right now. But a punctuation mark hasn't been invented yet that conveys the emotion a person feels when she's 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant, has been up all night with a sick child (thankfully it's just a cold and really, as far as bodily fluids go, nose gunk doesn't squick me out too badly), and is having continual Braxton Hicks contractions that make bein' squeezed by a 60-foot anaconda sound like a friendly hug.

In terms of appropriate punctuation in these circumstances, I was thinkin' #(pound), because I'm thinkin' I'd like to POUND someone or something right about now. Or maybe %(per cent) because I'm about 99 per cent sure I'm gonna lose it any minute. What do you think?

Seriously. Keep back, y'all#%

Oh, the cheerful-and-upbeatness, they're a'flowin' round these parts, people. But if we survive this one last day, this one final push toward the finish line, then Nana will be here tomorrow and DAWG, I AM CRAWLING UNDER MY BED FOR SURE. Only I don't think I'd fit. Maybe a dark corner of the closet?

I did write something decentish over the weekend though. Well, decent by my current standards, anyway. Are any of y'all shy, or do you have shy kids? You might get sump'm out of this.

Have a great day, people. Or else#



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21 comments:

  1. Oooh. I'm skeered. You crack me up.

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  2. My little girl was born at 39 weeks, 4 days on January 28th. I'm sending those good vibes your way right now...

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  3. It's one of those Mondays. The kind the Bangles sang about. I don't think I can have a good day.

    Princess has a cold too. She has managed to give it to me. I need to be on my A-game for yet another new customer issues at work. And because of the minor sinus cold my coffee tastes bleck and kinda burns my throat.

    Hoping your Monday (and, honestly, mine too) gets much better!

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  4. Hang in there!

    Both of my kids seem to be getting colds, too- one was up half the night coughing, and the other woke up with a runny nose and watery eyes. Must be going around...

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  5. I feel your # and %!
    Your almost there!

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  6. You know, even when you're 39 weeks pregnant there is still something so cute and pleasant about you.

    And feel free to add *@ to your #% and you've got yourself a mighty fine cuss word. #%*@. Am I right or am I right?

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  7. Well, #%, I thought for sure I'd pop over here today and see news of that baby (other than news that he apparently loves floatin' in his mama's belly)

    You are so cute when you are mad ;0)

    x0~K

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  8. Sounds like you need a cool glass of sweet mint tea and shoulder massage. (When all else fails, I hide in the closet, too.)

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  9. HA!
    You are still cute when you are about to # ( *%) it.

    Hopefully you find some rest and I'll be thinking about you!

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  10. Consider that you could also use your new vocabulary to make not-as-well-known smilies.

    %-) (I've been reading blogs for 10 hours now and my eyes are starting to cross permanently)

    :-# (I wear braces)

    Or, just for fun, here's my favorite:
    B:-) ("Look! I'm wearing my sunglasses on top of my head -- just like in real life!")

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  11. I feel your pain -

    I remember quite well being dilated to 4 cm for 2 weeks with braxton hicks kickin' my BUTT!
    So to speak, ahem.

    If only you could get that water broke, that baby would probably slide right out... what you need is a cheating midwife! I speak from experience... it works like a charm. :)

    I'm on pins and needles! Every day I come looking for "the picture." It won't be long -hang in there!

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  12. ###############%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%!!!!!!!!!!!! Just thought I'd add a few of those for ya. Hang in there, girl. We are patiently####%%%%%% waiting for the good news!!!

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  13. Alright, so tomorrow you and I will twitter from our beds like Ladies of Leisure. See you then!

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  14. The colds going around now and just nasty. I have been sick with one for a week, and it is not a good time at all.

    Hope Bean is better!!

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  15. Dear Lord, Please giveth the contractions that you have bestowed upon the lovely, but not yet ready, Lora Lynn, to your precious child, Megan. She's the angry one, just in case you have, perhaps, mistaken them.
    Amen.

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  16. That's funny, I have a 'Read Aster(own)risk' post up myself today.

    Hope you have a better tomorrow!

    I mean #%

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  17. Oh, Megan. You have the lovliest Bloggy friends of anyone in the Bloggy World. I love reading their comments almost as much as I love reading you blog. I hope the Peanut gets here soon. I think this child is gonna "learn you something" as we used to say. He's announcing his entrance is what he's doing. Mark my word.
    Cathy from Southern Illinois

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  18. oh girlfriend. Hang in there. lots of hugs.

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  19. Hope every one is feeling better soon!

    Yeah for reinforcement coming soon!!

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  20. Oh girl. That sounds utterly miserable. Hang in there!!!

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  21. Push on, Okra! (oops-- bad choice of words)...I mean hang in there! We're all waiting with you!!!

    :-)

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Thoughts?