Wednesday, August 27, 2008

She Hasn't Actually Said the Word "Rube," But Y'all Know She's Thinkin' It

My big sister and eldest nephew, Daniel, (the one Peanut's named after) arrived this morning an hour early. You know Auntie's in a hurry to get her hands on the new baby when she flies up on a commercial airliner and still manages to beat her ETA by sixty somethin' minutes.

My nephew cast a six foot shadow walkin' through my front door and my heart nearly broke to see him so huge and handsome and manly-lookin' at TEN. I told him he was gorgeous and a sight for sore eyes but inside my little soul was cryin' out, "What have you done with Baby Daniel? You put him back small again this instant!" And you know, as I look at him, I think, in a short decade my own boy will have those long legs and arms and those big ol' feet and I'll be wantin' him put back small again too. And it can't be done. No matter how hard you wish it could go both ways, you can only grow a kid one direction, and that's up.

Boo, hiss.

And ya'll remember I mentioned Peanut's troubles with the GAS ELIMINATION? Well, I want you to know that my sister walked in here, picked up that baby, gave him a well-placed heel of her hand upside his ribcage and that boy's eyes got huge, he ripped out a lip-flappin' burp y'all probably mistook for a small earthquake out on the West coast and promptly fell dead asleep, draped over his Aunt's arm like a damp dishtowel.

Such are the perks of havin' birthed and raised five babies, I reckon.

And she even managed not to look smug, much to her credit.

Aunt Jackie's gas-riddin' handiwork created in Peanut such a vaccuum that he woke up briefly, nursed until my cheeks were empty hollows and my tongue was a raisin in my mouth, and passed out cold in his crib with a blissful Aaaaah! I-don't-hafta-burp-or-poop anymore smile playing at his teenytiny little mouth-corners.

I cannot wait to tell this story at that boy's wedding.

Y'all come eat lasagna with us tonight! We've got one as big as a football field defrosting on the kitchen counter and all the garlic bread and salad you could ever want. Have I mentioned I love my neighbors?

See y'all at about 6:30 PM.

Oh, and don't worry! If you eat too much and get uncomfortable, I'll get Aunt Jackie to help you out.

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  1. That Jackie's just a bundle of talent! Some people just have the right touch! Enjoy your time with them!

  2. professional baby burper! How awesome is that!!

    Enjoy the time with your family... I feel the same way when i see my sister's two kids. I still picture them in my mind as preschoolers, not big gangly half-grown kids!!

  3. Oh I hear the tears fallin, when you talk of kids gettin big. It happens all to fast I say..Great for the Auntie burper expert!!

  4. You absolutely crack me up! So real and so funny!

  5. I think I could have used her about 6 years ago! Oh well! At least my boy can burp and pass gass on his own now!

  6. Your sister should patent that baby-burping move- I need a diagram with instructions over here stat. :)

  7. She could market that skill to weary mamas everywhere. Charge a fortune.

  8. Hrmphhh...I drove up and down all sorts of streets, looking for a sign that said Fried Okra Manor. Nada. I rolled down the windows so my nose could find the garlic smell, nothing. Listened really hard for a screaming baby, but Peanut's all happy and sound asleep. It's now 8 pm, I'll guess I'll just go to Mc Donald's for dinner

  9. HAHAHAHA! Classic final line.

    Have fun with Jackie and that lasagna. (Of course, with food like that, it's no wonder we always grow up - or out.)

  10. I am always amazed at the women that have more than two kids, the tricks they learn. Yeah for sister!!!

  11. ANY meal you don't have to cook is GOURMET. :) I say this EVERY. TIME. I leave a comment - but I miss ya! Going to have to have one of our "old days" chats soon. Lots to talk about! :)

  12. You crack me up! So glad to hear Aunt Jackie was able to help little Peanut out. I'm a bit sad to see I've missed dinner...maybe next time! :)

    Take care,

  13. Most of my veteran aunts who raised their own children or helped with 19 of us grandchildren know that gas release maneuver too. They tried to teach me but I can't do it as well as those ladies.

    If you have any leftover lasagna and garlic bread I'd love to have some. Just reading about it made my mouth start watering.

  14. So glad your sister is there to help. And sorry that I missed dinner . . . sounds delicious! Enjoy your time together . ..

  15. Wow! Is she going to teach you the secret? Stu was always the champion burper in our house, he could get burps out of the babies that I didn't even know were there!

    Oooh lasagne! I'm not allowed wheat or dairy right now so that sounds like dream food! Enjoy :D

  16. Oh no, don't tell me this. My son is 7 and his Daddy is 6'6" tall. He's bound to be 6' tall by the time he's 10 too. I feel tears welling in my eyes now.

    Yay for Aunt Jackie's burping expertise!

  17. I wish Aunt Jackie (aka niece Jackie) had been around when Gay and Cary were babies--Aunt Joy