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Friday, August 22, 2008

It's Me, It's Me, It's Ernest T!

A wee little update might be in order, I believe, since I've been feedin' y'all wordless belly videos, repeats and guest posters for the past few days.

Let the updatin' begin!

On the Home Front:

We're eatin' high on the hog every day thanks to a combination of pre-birth Mama FriedOkra, Nana and all of our wonderful neighbors. My freezer is literally groaning under the strain of all the VICTUALS (aka vittles) I made in advance and my mom whipped up while she was here, so I sometimes fear if anyone brought us more than a frozen slice of sausage pizza at this point there'd be a huge, loud explosion of stainless steel and plastic, and a shower of ice-cold chicken puffs, lasagna, steak-n-gravy and chicken casserole would rain down upon the neighborhood. Which I am not saying would be an altogether bad thing, perhaps just a little dangerous and messy as it all defrosted. I'm just sayin'.

If it weren't for the constant flow of calories STREAMING out of me and being subsequently greedily sucked into the Peanut, I'd be worried about gaining too much weight, (incidentally, you should SEE the dessert my neighbor Katie brought last night - OHMYGRANNY, y'all - almond-flavored cheesecake baked in a chocolate chip cookie dough crust with HUNKS more of the cookie dough running through it and drizzled with chocolate sauce. Yes, I WILL see if I can get that recipe for me er, y'all) but every day I step onto the scale holding a footlong meatball sub in one hand and a chocolate-Orea shake in the other and climb back off in profound shock upon seeing that even more of me has dwindled away overnight.

The child can EAT. Gets it honestly, he does.

Al's home with us this week as Nana has flown the coop back to South Cackalacky. She was a great help what with all that cookin' and an extra large dose of reorganizing. I think my Mom has always viewed remediatin' my faulty sense of what-goes-where-ness to be her Numero Uno job as my parent since I was born, when she took a look at my little baby piggies and said, "Well Megan, you have one of every different kind of toe on each foot! That is no way to keep your things organized!" and she set to puttin' both big toes, both second toes and the third toe that has the freckle on one foot, and the other third toe, both fourth toes and of course the matched set of pinky-toes on the other. It looks funny, I'll grant you, but it MAKES ORGANIZATIONAL SENSE in my mother's mind, and that is what matters, ultimately, don't you know?

And re-doin' everything kept her busy and happy and gave her an excuse to dig around in my STUFF and see what I (literally) have hiding in my closets and cupboards, which I am guessin' may have been a bit of a let-down for her since I pretty much have all the same things SHE has, just, you know, in all the wrong places, and not one piece of it is even remotely controversial.

Oh, I'm kidding, Mom. I know you don't dig though my things out of nosiness - you do it out of love and well, if I know you, abject boredom.

(Mama's household duddn' quite live up to Nana's default level of activity, as Nana is set on HIGH at all times, and Mama has been set on SWEATY, MOTIONLESS HIPPO for 9 months and counting.)

The Chiddren

Have I mentioned that I now have TWO of them? Yes, it would appear so, people.

See Mama adjust.

See Mama project into the future and wonder how she's gonna do this on her own next week when Daddy goes back to work two days before her big sister comes to town.


Bean appears to be havin' the time of her life, gobbling up all the extra attention from Nana and Daddy and me. She's a total sponge, y'all. She soaks up everything she hears and see and spits it back out in exchanges like these two:

Bean was poking around in her ear with one finger this morning, and eventually held out said digit proudly for me to inspect the fruits of her labor. (And that would be? Daddy's influence.)

Mama: (Gulp.) What's that?
Bean: Oh, it's jiss potatoes. (Nana's influence.)

Later, I was headed up to nurse Peanut for the 900th time this morning and Bean said, "Mama, don't feed him now! I want to kiss him."

Mama: Oh, let me feed him really quick - you want him to grow up and be big so he can play with you, right?

Bean: (Sobbing.) NO! I DO NOT WANT HIM TO GROW! I WANT HIM TO STAY LIIIIIIIII-TTLLLLLLLE FOREEEEEVER! (Guess whose influence THAT is?)

(Ahem.)

And Peanut? Well, what can you say about a boy who is absolutely textbook babyness, from the way his fuzzy head smells to the fact that he actually forms the words WAH, WAH when he cries? He's growing by leaps and bounds, sleeping up to four and a half hours at a stretch (the wrong stretches, of course, but that just goes back to bein' textbook baby, right?), and he goes through laundry faster than a head-cold ridden Ichabod Crane'd go through a box of cheap, see-thru store-brand tissues.

And he's, you know, PERFECTION.

The Mama

The Mama feels better every single day. I've been off any kind of pain meds for 5 days now, I'm not even taking Tylenol anymore. My chief lingering complaint about the aftermath of the C-section is that two weeks later I'm STILL finding little sticky globs of dirty grey adhesive residue all over my body. Apparently there is a LOT of medical-grade tape involved in getting a baby out a window instead of the door.

I went out briefly yesterday to get THIS INFERNAL MOP OF SHREDDED WHEAT ATOP MY HEAD brought under control again. I kid you not, people. I got it cut the shortest it's ever been since back when my Mom usedta have it cut in a plain old boy cut (I don't know why she did that, y'all. I just don't know!) when I was 3 or 4 years old.

It's SUPERTY DUPERTY short in back, and stacked, and then longer in the front, like a POSH SPICY kinda thing only with ridiculously-short bangs that NO SPICE WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD IN, because during the first few days of my post-natal-sweat-out-everything-but-the-kitchen-sink-fest my hair went all damp and limp and noodle-like and Al kept coming up to me and trying to paste my fringe off to one side of my brow with his fingers, even going so far once as to LICK HIS HAND and try to smooth them out of my eyes with a little "homemade hair gel." Gleh-eh-eck!

Right after he did that, I stormed away to the master bathroom, grabbed my utility scissors and proceded to hack off a hunk of bangs that will take until February to grow back right again.

But the spitting on my head has stopped, and for that I believe we can all breathe a deep sigh of gratitude.

And the haircut is pretty good, except for the "Hey, looky! I'm FIVE and I can tie my own shoes now" part up front.

Sigh.

And then wouldn't you just KNOW that the minute I walked in from that trip to the $$$$ALON, I mean the VERY MINUTE, DING! went my computer announcing an email from my friend and neighbor Maha who's been cuttin' my hair beautifully for the past 18 months but was on a hiatus thanks to some nerve damage in one hand, sayin' Hey, I'm back in bidness - when do you want to come let me do your hair? (Yes, I did paraphrase that. Maha wouldn't be caught dead sayin' bidness, I'm pretty sure.)

And I died a little inside because DARN IT ALL TO HECK, now I have to wait 6 weeks to go see my dear friend and get a little of that Maha-magic worked on these tresses of mine.

I have my two-week post C-section check up this afternoon with my wonderful doctor and would you believe I'm actually looking forward to seeing her? And I have a list of Can-I-do-this-now-pleases? as long as my arm, not the least of which is CAN I PLEASE TAKE A BATH? IN MY TUB? WITH ALL THE COZY WARM WATER SLOSHING AROUND ME AND THE PEACE AND THE SOLITUDE?

*Twitch-twitch!?*

Because land-o-mercy people I do not think I can go another. single. day without my little customary evening escape to the tubby! Showers just do NOT do it for me in terms of the soul-settling that I crave. Did I ever tell y'all my college roommates called me Wally the Walrus, such was my affinity for a little splishy-splashy in the tub of an evenin'? Oh yes, they did!

Anyway if there's anything exciting or morbidly embarrassing to report after that appointment you know you can count on me to lay it all out for you in full and righteous detail sometime soon so you can laugh your heads off at my humble yet worthy expense.

The Daddy

Is quite simply a puddle of molten Daddy chocolate sauce. He loves his baby. He loves his little girl. He is sleeping very well through the night and eating every bit as voraciously as the other testosterone-driven specimen in the household. I've resorted to keeping him tethered to the furniture when he's in the 2-story living room lest he float up to the ceiling like Uncle Albert in Mary Poppins, such is that man's deep and abiding joy in this sweet time of new babyhood and a seemingly endless food supply. Men are so easy!

And that's the news from FriedOkra Manor. Hope y'all are all healthy, happy and enjoying the final shreds of summer. The angle of the sunlight in the late afternoon here says fall is on the way, and I, for one, await to its arrival with a forward-looking nostalgia that only a hormone-laden 40-year-old sweaty hippo like myself could muster.

Have a great weekend, people!


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28 comments:

  1. Yay!!! You're bck! And you're you! And blimey but you're forming sentances far better than I did at that stage of becoming a mama to two!
    Nice to read you :D

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  2. Sounds like everything is getting back to normal at the Fried Okra manor!

    And can I just say that hearing about your weight loss while eating a sub and drinking a shake make me wish I was breastfeeding again...almost....

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  3. It all sounds so great. life is getting back to normal(a new state of normal that is)

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  4. Oh my goodness, girl! We need pictures.

    Steph

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  5. I love it when Jemma says "Blimey."

    Pictures coming Monday, gang!

    That is all.

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  6. We've missed you. Glad you are all doing so well!

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  7. That's a marvelous, joyful update! I'm glad you are all doing well, and am trying not to hold it against you that you are losing all that weight. I nursed all 3 of my babies and it never worked that way for me!
    PS - I want pictures!

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  8. sounds like life is full and life is good. you'll do just fine flying solo!
    Thanks for the update. Can't wait to see the photos.

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  9. Everything sounds just ducky at fried okra manor.

    I wish I had gotten that benefit from breastfeeding my kids - somehow I didn't lose anything for all they did work at it constantly! My daughter has been lucky though and it is amazing to watch her eat and then get smaller almost daily!

    After 6 weeks she is starting to have to figure out how to deal with both kids now that her brother is starting classes at college (he is living with them) and it isn't always pretty!

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  10. I'm so giddy! An update from the Okra house!!

    You are bringing back the memories, dearie. Oh,my. I was hungry non-stop while breastfeeding and it really is the secret to being back in my pre-maternity wardrobe after only 4 months. It got to the point that I didn't leave home without 2 snacks and a bottle of water unless I wanted to be stopping at McDonalds' for a fill up. That little girl sucked all the fat right out of my body, except for the stuff clinging to my thighs. Thigh fat is just too stubborn.

    Once the doc gives you the OK make sure you slather that incision line with some kind of cocoa butter body butter. It did wonders on my abdomen throughout the years.

    Of course a 3-year old girl wouldn't want her newborn baby brother to grow up. It's like having the ultimate baby doll right in your own house. It eats, sleeps, cries, pees and poops in its diaper. Toy manufacturers have come close but they can't quite duplicate the adorable faces the real ones make.

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  11. What a lovely update, Shug! I'm impressed that you're able to find the time/energy to do one so soon after having your precious Peanut.

    Glad to hear that you've had loving, well-mannered help. (I say well-mannered help 'cause being related doesn't neccessarily mean the people are gonna act like they've got sense!)

    It's wonderful to hear that everyone in the Fried Okra home is enjoying the new arrival. I just know that Bean is gonna be a stellar big sis!

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  12. So glad to know all is well in Fried Okra Manor. :) You have been sorely missed.

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  13. Awwww...my heart is sufficiently warmed after reading that update! Sounds like you've got that perfect mix of bliss and insanity going on there that I remember so well from about nine months ago. Can't wait to see pictures!

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  14. 4 months of nursing later and decidedly NOT in my pre-pregnancy clothes. If you weren't so dang funny I might hate you. er. Dislike. Not care for. Whatever.

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  15. So glad things are going well. I remember the breastfeeding days well, and thinking, Once I stop nursing, I'm not going to be able to eat like this. And then eating some more.

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  16. I am so excited to hear that everything is going so smoothly. Lucky girl with all the pre-made food.

    You are so blessed, and I am so happy for you!!

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  17. Glad to hear that everything is going well! Ya'll sound perfectly blissful.

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  18. We are SO glad to hear that things are continuing to go well at FriedOkra Manor. Secretly I wished that the neighbors would continue bringing us dinners for, oh, another month (or year!). I love-love-loved eating other peoples food! :o)
    Do you have to take Peanut in for a 2-week check-up? It was such a blessing for me to hear my doc say "She's growing fine. You can now feed her whenever she wants." (instead of waking her every ding dang 2 hours)
    Oh, and, echoing the rest of them...nice to have you back! I so enjoy your funny take on all things mama. We know you are busy busy busy, but we'll take any FriedOkra we can get.
    Keep up the fabulousness! :o)

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  19. Oh my goodness I am crackin' up. You are hilarious. I am glad you are recovering well and that everyone seems to be doing grand and eatin' well.

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  20. What a fun post. :) Your joy just shines through in every word. Glad to hear the Okra family is doing so well!

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  21. I loved this post. You sound like you and everybody else is (are?) doing just fine.

    And that cheesecake... I wouldn't know where to start!

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  22. I cut my own bangs yesterday too! I've never been so rash as to cut my own hair, but since I have the utilitarian hair cut I figured I couldn't do TOO much damage. And lets face, no body is checking out THIS Mama.

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  23. Great update... I don't think I would be getting through raising my four without the bathtub!!! My escape too!

    Glad everyone is adjusting!

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  24. Megan, you're so funny! And so talented with the funny! I have had myself some good chuckling to this entry, and now I feel all mellow and happy and I'm going to bed. Thank you! :)

    Bits I loved the best:

    Where you mentioned that Al is sleeping very well through the night, hehehe!

    The cheesecake. I must have it. Hurry with the recipe!! *drool*

    Nana on HIGH, and Mama on SWEATY MOTIONLESS HIPPO mode - my eyes nearly spilled over, you funny lady! ;)

    Everything about Peanut and Bean, but especially about Peanut's mouth actually saying "Wah wah" when he cries - ohhhh, Nathan's does that, and I want to just spend time kissing his wah wah lips while he cries instead of, you know, responding to his needs! ;) Soooo incredibly cute.

    I still love that he's Matthew! :D

    There's more, but this is turning into a diary entry, haha! ;)

    Love you! xxx

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  25. "Apparently there is a LOT of medical-grade tape involved in getting a baby out a window instead of the door."

    *this* is one of the funniest sentences I have ever in my life read. absolutely true.

    and yes, I have had two c-sections, I know of which I speak.

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  26. Megan,

    I loved this post! I can SO relate to "Nana on high and mam on motionless...." too funny!!! I have 3 kiddos and lemme tell you, "Nana's" have the pent-up energy to really help you out like crazy sometimes!! (Funny how it can be both the much-needed help you crave and at the SAME time be mildly annoying b/c you feel so bedraggled...)

    Anyway, I'm glad I found your blog way back here in South Cackalacki...you speak "local" to me all the way out there in Illiniois.

    Angela

    PS.Enjoy the corn....We have had to pay out the nose to get cornstalks for "decorative purposes" around Halloween back here the past few yrs!! Come to think of it, corn isn't as cheap either!

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Thoughts?