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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

You'd Better Stop Making That Face or It's Gonna Get Stuck Like That

It's hot and I'm cranky.

You know what's the worst thing about being cranky when you have kids? You can't just tune out and turn off and go be by yourself until you stop hatin' the world again. You're forced to DEAL with a small person(or more) who OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE IN THE WORLD picks up easily on your bad mood, but instead of wisely just doing what she's told to do and/or slinking off quietly to play by herself, decides that SHE MUST NOW ALSO BE IN A BAD MOOD.

Double your pleasure, double your fun, y'all.

So we had ourselves just a lovely morning, the two of us, running errands hither thither and yon in the already sweltering, infernally hot sunshine, gettin' IN and OUT of the car OVER and OVER again, wrastlin' with the new carseat/booster thingy we just installed for the Big Girl which, hey, wasn't this supposed to make my life EASIER since now we'll just be using the car safety belt instead of that ornery old octopus of a five-point safety harness and heck, she'll be able to handle that on her own?

Only it's not easier, because the seatbelt? Well, wouldn't you just KNOW it's in a bad mood too, and will only dain to be pulled out and fastened at one specific-to-within-a-half-a-degree angle and if you have the nerve to deviate from that particular angle then it will firmly cross its little seatbelt arms across its chest and affix upon its face a nasty, obstinate scowl and refuse to either go back into its little seatbelt burrow so you can pull it out in the exact way Its Majesty prefers or just come the heck on out and be fastened already. And so did two hot, cross women and one uncompromising, bull-headed @&%!# of a seatbelt spend a morning together gallavanting around town, spittin' nails for all we were worth.

As we were finally, OH DEAR LORD FINALLY, driving home after my clenched-teethed delivery of the inevitable gutteral, end-of-my-rope, "WHEN WE GET HOME, YOU ARE TO MARCH YOURSELF STRAIGHT UP TO YOUR ROOM AND SIT ON YOUR BED AND DO NOT MOVE AND I WILL BE UP TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIOR AS SOON AS I GET THE GROCERIES PUT AWAY, YOUNG LADY" warning in the Walgreen's parking lot, I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror and do you know who I saw looking back at me?

My own mother. And people, she was FIT TO BE TIED.

Which scared me right back into a good mood again.

Amen.

30 comments:

  1. That must have been a sight to see. The battle of the mad ladies and the seatbelt. Good on you that you snapped out of it though. And just think, in about thirty years Bean will be sitting in her car and look in the rearview mirror and think `I look just like mom`.
    CU, M

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  2. Oh I love it! I'm rolling on the floor laughing.

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  3. You are too funny! It's so true though - the way we get a glimpse of our Mom in ourself or sometimes hear her speaking through our mouths!

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  4. ROFL...I can SO relate to this post, Megan! You should have been at my house this morning before the radio show - I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to use the bathroom while doing a pre-show phone call and unsuccessfully attempting to get my three kids to be quiet.

    I sent everyone to their rooms, but then I forgot to go back and check on them. An hour later, my two youngest were curled up on my daughter's bed asleep, apparently exhausted from their extended time out.

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  5. Oh how I love you. And your wonderful ability to write so that I feel like I'm right there with you. But at a safe distance from all the upset. ;)

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  6. Oh my goodness! I have SO been there...more than once even :)

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  7. I too have seen my own mother staring back at me in the mirror.

    yeah, motherhood...

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  8. My Momma staring back at me in the mirror is one of the reasons I have my hair colored this pretty shade! At least when I look in the mirror now I see my Momma with a cool hair style!

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  9. There must be something in the air, I had a similar day. It was a long day but finally my boys are in bed.
    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

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  10. Boy Howdy, have I been there (and am still there) times 2. I was just there today with those &^%#$# seat belts. And usually the belts act up when the girls are in the VERY back seat of the van, it's extremely hot out, and we are running late. Thankfully, big brother can usually, but not always, come to our rescue.

    By the way, we have some mighty fine lookin okry growin' in the garden this year. I think of the "manor" every time I snip some pods!!!

    Hang in there.....

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  11. I see "The Face" every once in a while, and it scares me. It is crazy!

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  12. I hear my mother in my words ALL the time these days. The picture of me as a kid rolling my eyes appears, too, and I'm left feeling quite conflicted. But I continue on with the sayings and the furrowed brow just like she did - I turned out okay, I guess :)

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  13. Oh my yes, it's scary isn't it? I found myself doing the middle name thing the other day, calling Maya by her full name when she was in trouble. Promised myself I wouldn't do that. *sigh*

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  14. Oh dang, I hate those moments! But I have been there many, many, many times. Those infernal carseats, that's what I hate most about running errands with the kids. Not the running around crazy in the store, or the throwing tantrums in the store, or even the begging & pleading to get this that or the other in the store, but the wrestling of 3 kids in & out of the car multiple times about drives me to drink.
    Hopin you have a better day tomorrow dearie!!

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  15. Oh, I hate those moments. And yet they make me laugh.

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  16. he he....are we all destined to become out mothers?!!

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  17. Yeah, I hear my mother A LOT when I'm talking to Bubbie!

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  18. I swore I would never utter the words, "Cut it out!"

    I have failed miserably.

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  19. I once clapped my hands together in an angry response to my kids behavior. I caught my breath and began to laugh becuase that is EXACTLY what my mom would have done

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  20. MY Baby looks JUST LIKE my surly, deeply missed grandma. JUST LIKE. And acts like her, too. Eeeeerie!

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  21. Boy, did you just make my day. I'm laughing so hard I must excuse myself for a minute before I make a mess right here. I'm back! You are just so stinkin' funny, girl. I don't mean to laugh at your tough times, it's just that I see myself in you so much that it's pee-your-pants funny to see life from a different side of the fence.
    It's your Southern IL reader, Cathy

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  22. Do you think our mothers tucked their panties into their clothes at the gynies office? Snicker snort!

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  23. ROFLOL!!!!

    Amen, sister. It happens to the best of us, God love it.

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  24. I just found your blog via Adoptic...

    I LOVE IT!

    I can't wait to read more and adding you to my blogroll!

    Nice to 'meet' you!

    ~Jaime (ChaseNKids)

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  25. So many times I feel myself turning into my mother...It is so mortifying!!

    In and out of the hot car can be a challenge for sure!!

    Laura

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  26. Ooooh, I'm sorry, but that post made me laugh. Oh how I've done that before!

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Thoughts?