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Monday, April 28, 2008

"Um, Maddy's Mom," she said awkwardly, "Would you be so kind as to pass me the deviled eggs?"

It's the reason I want Mama cards. Well, the main reason.

(The other reason I want Mama cards is so I don't have to actually form and speak aloud the words, "Ihaveablog.Amommyblog.Sometimesit'sfunny.Mebbeyoumightlikeitonagoodishday?Doyouwannareadit?Doya?Doya?Please?Noseriously,Imeanit,PLEASE?" I cannot get over feeling like a complete dork saying stuff like that. But I'm a people. A people who needs people. So sometimes I make myself do it anyway. I know. Dork.)

(Why yes. I DO get a lot of blank stares.)

But the big reason I want Mommy cards? Well.

Has this ever happened to you?

Every week I take Bean to her little music and imagination class at the local rec department. And every week I sit outside the class, which is held in the rec center's cafeteria, on this long bench, my purse on my lap, with the other Mamas and sometimes a baby sibling or two, and we all wait for our little sweetpeas to get finished with their class and come barreling out of the cafeteria, their faces all aglow with joy because they got to jump like bunnies and collect acorns and twigs like squirrels and LOOKY MAMA! They all got frog stamps on their hands! FROGGY STAMPS, MAMA! THIS HERE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY WHOLE LONG THREE POINT FIVE SEVEN FIVE YEARS OF LIFE. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

And while we're sitting there for nearly an hour, because we are women, we "share." Oh yes. I generally sit with the same two women each week. We've been sitting together every Monday, barring a few holiday weeks, since the beginning of this year. And I know purty much everything there is to know about these two other Mamas. I know their girls' names (Bean's contemporaries in class), I know the names and ages of their other children. I know where they get their hair done, what they did this past weekend, what they like to eat for breakfast, what they feel most guilty about as parents, how they feel about delayed vaccination schedules, that their husbands are not "handy" around the house so they get their fathers to come do stuff on the sly, I know which of their kids was the toughest baby, which had the worst diaper rash and what they used to finally get it to go away (corn starch, Jackie!), I learned today exactly how one lady's nurse told her to treat her son's circumcision boo boo just before she took him home from the hospital.

(Make it into a Vaseline® Petroleum Jelly ice cream cone. Oh, how that made me laugh. I know. Grossandtacky.)

I know where these women live, I know how much each of their kids weighed at birth, how long their labors were, and whether or not they had an episiotomy or just WISHED like heck they had. I know all about one lady's C-sections and I know she doesn't regret having them or wish she could have delivered them vah-jay-jaynally. I know where all their kids go to school, how the kids and the moms like their teachers this year, where they shop for their clothes and how often they change their bed linens. I know of one mom's on-going struggle with both of her children's chronic constipation, and I have actually cheered, in person, as her baby boy struggled to relieve himself of said problem one morning while we were all bench-sitting together. I know it all, people. We have BONDED on that bench, and I look forward to seeing these ladies every week. Isn't it amazing and wonderful that God has made women to be so very relational, so willing to be vulnerable and open to one another in just about any setting? These two women and I -- we've formed a weekly support group; become sharers of our collective wit and wisdom. Laughed, cried, laughed until we cried, and hugged our girls together at the end of every class while saying farewell to one another until the next Monday. I'm thankful for the companionship and the warmth and the laughs.

Inexplicably, I'm even thankful I know what color their master bathrooms are painted and how their husbands feel about those colors. (Not PLUM!?)

But there's a teee-nincey problem.

An awkward, ohhowcouldthishavehappened whatdoIdoNOW problem.

Y'all. We don't know one another's names.

Because up until now, it hasn't really seemed that important, you know? Or maybe we're too busy with all the SHARING to think of something so rote and mechanical as introducing ourselves. I know one of them as Maddy's mom and the other is Kate's mom and I'm Bean's mom. And Maddy's mom's baby boy's name is Drew, and Kate's mom has a 7 year old named Abbey. That's been enough.

But now we've all decided to take the girls on a picnic at the park next week after class. And it occurs to me that we've become actual friend-like thingies, and there's a chance we may actually want to get together after the girls' class ends. I know I'd like to. And even if we didn't, I know I'll see (ugh, see how awkward this is?) "Maddy's mom" next year when we take our girls to preschool - they're in the same class. And then what'll I say?

"Uh, hi 'Maddy's mom.' How was your summer? Husband used to that olive green paint in the bathroom yet?"

Yeah. No.

So I'm gonna have to step on up next Monday and facilitate introductions among three women who've been having coffee and deep, ponderous conversation together once a week for nearly 4 months. And I can do it. At the right moment in the conversation, say, right after we wrap up a discussion about PMS or ill-fitting nursing bras, and say, "By the way, y'all, I'm Megan."

"Oh,andIhaveablog.Amommyblog.Sometimesit'sfunny.Mebbeyoumightlikeitonagoodishday.Doyouwannareadit?Doya?Doya?Please?Noseriously,PLEASE?"

"Why yes. Yes, it would be okay to just call me Dork."

Oh, forget it. I wonder how quickly I can get those Mommy cards made up?

25 comments:

  1. You are not a dork. I so feel your pain. I have been attending a weekly Bible Study since January. I was one of the newbies and they all asked my name but never gave theirs. I've tried to catch a few here and there in conversation. Now tomorrow the leader will be away and I am leading Bible Study...and I only know 5 or 6 of the 20+ names. Now thats a dork.

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  2. Ha! I'm the same way and have thought about those mommy cards myself. It's even harder when you ask for their email and their real name isn't in the address. I've tried that trick before and DOH! didn't help one bit.

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  3. I can make some up for you if you like. I have several designs that I use for myself and would be happy to have some made up for you! or, I can send them in a graphic file and you can have them printed yourself. Up to you!
    Let me know. :)

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  4. That's happened to me and I never thought of getting mommy cards. I usually just gather my courage (or dorkitude) and introduce myself.

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  5. Oh! I have the same problem with the moms and dads from Monkey's preschool! I've even been at a couple of their houses for birthday parties and still, I don't know their names!

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  6. I actually made up my own Mommy cards a couple of years ago. I have a card making program (The Print Shop) that will also make business cards. So I picked out my favorite picture of a dragonfly, added my name, address, phone number and email address. I keep a stash in my purse.

    Try it!

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  7. I have laughed and laughed -- why - because I SO relate! My daughter took gymnastics for about six months and there were two women who waited with me - exactly the same scenario you described -- we never knew each other's names either -- finally one of us (unfortunately not me) was brave enough to tackle the subject and we all had a great big laugh - and a great big ole introduction! So funny to know I am not alone!! Isn't mommyhood fun?
    beverly@beverlyhappymoments.blogspot.com

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  8. I was given one of these for the first time last year and I just loved it. You are the perfect person to pass out Mommy cards!

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  9. I am willing to bet that the other two women have thought of this, too. You'll just be stepping up and addressing the elephant in the room.

    I kept thinking the whole time "If this were dads (or at least the men I know) they'd know maybe which kid belonged to which dad, what car the dad drove and maybe something else random about the other dads (they like the Cubs). They would never become so close so fast.

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  10. Plan an event for Bean...like a "tea party" Tell the moms that you would like to send formal invitations and you need their addresses. Tea parties are so much fun anyway with foofoo dresses and such!

    Then you will know their names, have an opportunity to get together as friends (the mommys have to have tea also, don't they?), and will have their names handy for birthdays and holiday cards.

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  11. If you have access to Microsoft Publisher, it would be really easy to make some mommy cards on there- it has a business card template & you can just put your info on it! :)

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  12. Well, you are most certainly not the only one. Try being the one who everyone seems to know (We attend the large church where my brother is the pastor) and I don't have a clue who they are. I have had many folks start talking to me and referring to my kids by name and call me by name and I am CLUELESS. I stand in awe and fumble around in the noggin digging for a connection. IF only we were forced to wear nametags at all times (that did not say "........." s' mom. :)

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  13. hee hee! I am so proud of you for stepping up to the plate...that's not a easy thing to do and yet we have all been there!! By the way, the pet.jelly, ice-cream cone, circ. boo-boo thing...yeah...that is what works! But oh does your heartached for that poor, innocent little man!

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  14. My oldest daughter is in second grade. Since Kindergarten she's been in the same class with three other little girls and I have grown the same relationship with their mommy's.
    A few weeks ago, we were the homeroom moms for a party and we were chatting about husbands and I said "And then my husband said "Tracy, we can't do it that way!" and one of the other moms said "So that's your name? I always wondered what your name was! I'm Leslie!"
    It was so funny to be introducing ourselves after three years of friendship!

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  15. That is so funny! I took my girls to ballet for 2 years and didn't know one other mom's name. Just their kids! I'm glad it isn't just me! I never thought of making "mommy cards". I think I'll do that later today.

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  16. Aaaak! I never know how to handle that! I like the idea of mom cards, although I think that I might live in too small a town for that.

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  17. What is even worse is when the moms have introduced themselves, but that was months ago and now you have no idea what "Patrick's mom's" name is but every time she sees you she yells out "Hi, T!"

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  18. Y'all need to bring those stick-on name tags from conventions/reunions. The kind that say, "Hello, my name is Megan." Slap 'em on the kiddos, too, they will love it. Unforgettable.

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  19. *gasp* You mean to tell me that Hallmark doesn't make a card for that?!! I'm shocked....

    Make it into a joke, Shug! They'll laugh and you'll finally know their names. I have a lot of people come up to me and know me, but I have not a clue who they are. Yep, talk about awkward and feelin' like a dork. Oi.

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  20. This happens to me ALL the time. I always end up feeling like an idiot when I have to say, several months later, "Oh. By the way, my name is..." I'm so glad that someone else (and from the comments it looks like a lot of people)experiences this too!

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  21. I can't even tell you how many times this has happened to me.

    I've even babysat the neighbors newborn baby girl for half a day and not even known their names...

    WOW.

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  22. I have moms at my sons' school that are like that.

    It's like, "Ok, I know I've been seeing you around for like four years, but I'm Sari and you're _____?"

    That's dork-city, for sure.

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  23. hmmm... I wonder where you can get those mama cards...

    I've heard they are very cute and handy ;0)

    xo ~ K

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  24. I can so relate to this! I have a friend who actually does hand out cards. They're free from vistaprint.com. I think you just pay for shipping. They're really cute, and she even put a Bible verse on there and everything along with all her info. Check it out!

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  25. I think this must be a universal problem for mommies!
    Or maybe just an American problem?

    Whatever, I know what you mean. You have passed that line and now it's officially AWKWARD. Have fun with that. ;)

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Thoughts?