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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Put Down that Bucket of Dippity-Do™ and Move Away from the Vaseline®, Gertie, I Have Modern Solutions for You

Y'all may have noticed a new little button down there on my sidebar, the one that says I moonlight at Chic Critique. Well, this coming Friday's the day I put my money where my mouth is and offer up my first post over there. I'm really looking forward to working with Jo-Lynne, or dcrmom, who created this clever, vital new blog back at the beginning of the year and with her side-kick June has been delivering a nearly daily dose of helpful beauty product reviews for the modern woman ever since.

(But at least in my case, they won't necessarily be BY the modern woman, because who am I kidding? I'm about as modern as as a Toni® home perm on pink plastic rods.)

Still, I believe I'm at least moderately qualified for the particular genre of beauty products I'll be examining each Friday. Those of the less expensive drug-store variety.

My affinity for all things drug-store bath-body-and-beauty aisle began back when my Grandmama FriedOkra used to cart my big sister, our two girl cousins and me down to Lynch's Drug Store in the Big Blue Bonneville blasting "Spinnin' Wheel" by Blood Sweat & Tears, and let us spend up all her money on Sally Hansen's opalescent purple nail polish and Rose Milk™ Skin Care Cream. All four of us girls also used to have a fairly good time mixing up batches of a concoction we called "The Cure" in Grandmama's big green bathroom out of Noxema®, Johnson's® Baby Powder and Scope™, with a little AquaVelva™ thrown in for good measure. This activity was actually sanctioned and yes, in retrospect, I do recognize that my Grandmama was a saint. Or maybe she just got tired of putting pincurl after pincurl into our naturally stick-straight hair and needed a foolproof way to divert us so she could watch Hee-Haw in peace.

Later in life while other kids were outside playing kick-the-can and building tree-forts, I busied myself designing and creating bottles and labels for my own line of shampoos and conditioners under the brand name Mother Earth's Delights and coercing my BFFs to be the glamorous hair models in carefully-scripted, meticulously-directed television advertisements shot on color slides for my 6th grade photography project.

Sadly, the entire M.E.D product line went the way of Body on Tap, Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific and Short-n-Sassy. But my own early failures in this arena haven't put a damper on my constant obsession with trying out new, inexpensive products that promise to take off the years, impart body and shine, or give me a dazzling white smile. You've heard that a sucker's born every day? Well, I've got September 20, nineteen-sixty-sump'm covered.

But after 30-something years of spraying, slathering, smoothing and sudsing, I've actually found some winners, and on Fridays at Chic Critique it'll be my mission to help you navigate your drug-store's (and grocery store's and all-in-one store's) bath, body and beauty aisles and come home with a few great, relatively inexpensive products that actually work.

I hope to see ya'll there Friday for my grand debut (although you COULD go now and read up on some other products while subscribing in your reader of choice)! I'm going to review a very good and very inexpensive all-natural facial cleanser that I found at a most expected place.

And you wouldn't want to miss THAT, now would you?

18 comments:

  1. I sure wouldn't want to miss it - it's being added to my Google reader immediately! You brought back some memories, talking about Dippity do and Gee your hair smells terrific!

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  2. I saw the announcement on Chic Critique earlier today and got so excited. I know you'll have some awesome advice!!!

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  3. LOL. Grandmama 210 WAS a saint! I keep learning how she exhibited this trait. Were you in on buying "pet fish" (aka bait) at the Esso Club? How about getting up on top of the shed on a drizzly day and getting shocked?

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  4. Ah, the sister or one of the cousins chimes in! Yes, I do recall the pet fish from the Esso club. And feeding them bread balls until the water was all murky and disgusting. And I don't think I was on the roof of the shed at the time of the shocking, but I did help set fire to the woods around it with my trusty little GirlScout buddy burner. Good times, people. Too bad our parents were on hand to punish us for the really serious offenses, when Grandmama would've just laughed, kissed any pertinent boo-boos and fixed us a Coke and Breyers Chocolate Chip Mint float. I'm gonna be THAT Grandmama when I grow up.

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  5. Oh yeah. That could have been the Aunt, too, but I can't picture her saying "LOL." Hee hee.

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  6. Terrific! I would love to know how to make pincurls in my girls' hair, too....

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  7. Ahhhh, Rose Milk and Hee Haw...brings back sweet memories of my Grandma.

    But she made us floats out of Ginger Ale and Breyer's Vanilla ice cream.

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  8. Congrats to you!!! I saw that on your sidebar, and I was hoping to read some reviews from you. My hair was curly when I was young, so my mom would curl it around her finger (to make a long vertical curl)and put long pins in the curls to hold them until they dried. My hair is still curly, but thank God for straight irons!! My mom makes a cool "lotion potion" from dollar store stuff. I will have to get you her "recipe". Good luck. Can't wait to read it!!

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  9. I'm so excited to have you!!!! LOL about your Gramama watching Hee Haw!

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  10. yaahoo this should be interesting I like stuff that is cheap & works like it says. I'll be waiting for fridays...Hugs :)

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  11. I remember the Mother Earth's Delights! I haven't thought about that in years. Do you still have the slides? I can't remember what I did, but I do remember stressing about it (that and the stocks and bonds).

    Congrats on the new assignment. I look forward to reading those articles. I definitely need help in the beauty area!

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  12. Gertie...Ha! Here we have the infamous Essie and Ida and their various church shenanigans...which include killing a lizard with a high-heel shoe in the middle of a sermon. Priceless.
    I hope you have fun with your new "assignment". I sure have fun reading any post you do, Shug!

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  13. Oh HONEY!
    I soooooo need to put you in touch with my friend (ex big city mortgage broker, move to North Carolina, become Mother Earth HERSELF) Lee!


    Here's the link dear: http://www.mountainlore.com/index.htm

    She makes all her own...............WHATEVER.. (I don't even have a clue to who she is anymore, me still being a big city denizen...yea right, moving on)

    HAVE A GREAT TIME AND CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

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  14. well isn't THIS exciting?

    Your grandma sounds like a sheer delight. So fun.

    Looking forward to reading you over there, too!

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  15. It was the aunt! I have only learned about these escapades in recent years. But ya'll probably did get punished by us parents for the boat trip over to the Holiday Inn!

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  16. Oh Megan, I never want to miss anything you write! And I think the aunt should start her own blog. Those escapades sound like good reading. :)

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  17. how fun!!! you'll be awesome at that gig!

    xo ~ K

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  18. I've been visiting Chic Critque and LOVE it. Your Grandma sounds like a hoot!

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Thoughts?