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Thursday, November 8, 2007

Fourteen Fake Red Birds, and a Sinkful of Mother-of-Pearl Buttons. (Sing that to the tune of The 12 Days of Christmas, please.)

I just finished hot-glueing clip-on earing converters to the um - thoraxes? - wait, no, actually I just looked up a general diagram of bird anatomy on the internet and, very unclimactically, as fate would have it, they're actually simply known as bellies of 14 small decorative red birds. By decorative red birds what I mean is that they are made of Styrofoam® that has been artfully clad in an assortment of red flotsum, including something flannel-esque under the requisite faux feathers, plus a dollop or two of some eyeball- and beak-like substances, all of which work together to make them appear to be cardinals. I do NOT mean that they are 14 actual living, breathing red birds who just happen to be graced with a flair for interior design and wickedly dry senses of humor.

Though that concept would certainly make an interesting addition to HGTV's line-up, would it not?

Despite what you are undoubtedly thinking, six of my crazy Bunco lady-friends and I are NOT planning to don these aviarily-inspired earbobs and crash an ornithology convention in downtown Chicago this weekend in hopes of attracting gorgeous but nerdy (What? That's how I like 'em!) male birdwatchers to ourselves like cardinals to seed-encrusted fatback. Nope, I'm going to secure these 14 cleverly-fastening little fellers to the FriedOkra Manor Christmas Tree this year. I will have you to know that serendipitously enough, the cardinal is in fact the state bird of Illinois.

We are nothing if not State-riotic around here, people.

I got these little birdies at local fabric store for free the day after Christmas a few years ago. Yes, my friends, gratis, as in Go on ahead, ma'am, you can just take this bag and walk right out of the door without fear of having to explain to the FBI why you've been busted in awkward and guilty-looking possession of fourteen hot red Styro-foam® birds which were just reported stolen from Jo-Ann's this very morning, because they were evidently NOT-so-cleverly fastened to a shipment of wreaths for the holidays earlier that year and therefore found themselves pecking forlornly at the bottom of a sale bin on December 26th, uncleverly unfastened and piteously unlabeled and, except to the professionally-trained eye of a glue-gun-wielding, penny-pinching, newly-crafty housewife like me (or YOU, of course!), completely unpurposed.

Now, I am happy to report, they're a flock of Christmas tree earrings ornaments.

Oh, and yes! That IS one-and-a-half pounds of now-sparkly-clean mother-of-pearl buttons draining away merrily in each of two colanders perched in my kitchen sink. Why-ever do you ask?

(Wink.)

12 comments:

  1. Christmas birdies--clever! These will be a whole lot quieter than the real thing too!

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  2. I am quite relieved to hear that your won't be sporting those birds on your ears! I just don't think it's you! I want to know more about the buttons - you've made us wait long enough.

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  3. Button button who has the button?? will we ever know??

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  4. Hey there!
    Thought of you today when I posted about my crafty day!

    Love your birds idea...post some pictures - would love to see how right on my visual is!!

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  5. I bet they'll look quite festive on your tree!

    --Jeanne (patiently waiting on the button thing...)

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  6. Can't wait to see pictures! I'm sure there will be lots of closeups of the birds when you post for Boo Mama's Christmas Tour of Homes!

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  7. I must contact the state of Illinois. Surely there is some honorary title for having the most state-triotic Christmas display. There simply must be.

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  8. The Common Loon is the official bird of Ontario, but I don't really want a bunch of loons on my tree - they're not nearly as festive as cardinals.

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  9. Yes, we Illinoisan's love our cardinals, almost as much as we love our state football & basketball teams :-) I too am looking forward to a pic of those cute lil birdies on your tree!

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  10. My new favorite word is state-riotic.

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  11. wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I need a picture. Dont' you know that I am visual learner like my sugar? dang it...I'll have to wait for the tour of homes I suppose....sigh.

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  12. Enough - out with it already, woman! What are the buttons for???

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Thoughts?