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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Well SHUT. MY. MOUTH.

Hiya.

I was supposed to be regaling you with stories about The Wedding today. Only I wasn't supposed to be, I was planning to be, and therein lies the crux of today's post.

When I first posted about The Wedding, it felt all wrong. Honestly! See, I tone myself down for y'all (and for most people that I know), but I have inherited a rapier-sharp tongue and a mind full of bitingly sarcastic, haughty, mean, but generally funny-at-someone-else's-expense "humor."

And I like love LIVE to make people laugh. Sometimes the EASIEST way to get a laugh is to poke fun at other people.

However, when I started this blog, I vowed to myself I would NOT employ THAT kind of humor, because I feel strongly convicted of the sarcasm and snootiness it belies, AND, in truth, it breaks my heart to think of the people I have hurt and could hurt with such a poor excuse for funny-ness. And all self-congratulation aside, I have held to that vow pretty well except for the original post about the wedding, which I regret ever writing, but I'm leaving up to remind myself that it's so easy (and often so entertaining) to slip back into my old, wrong habit of putting others down to get a "positive" reaction from people.

I sincerely apologize for that lapse in judgment.

On the day of The Wedding, I made a conscious decision to leave my camera at home. At that point I was not PLANNING on blogging about The Wedding, and I even told a couple of people that I just wasn't going to do it. Including Al.

But afterwards the pull to tell y'all about it was so strong. It's awful hard to break the sarcasm habit when you've leaned on it for YEARS to get attention, laughs, and ego-strokes.

I'm a flawed, tacky, tasteless person in many many ways. Aren't we all? So who on Earth am I to whip off a razor-witted tale for you about the very serious marriage ceremony of two good-hearted people who clearly love one another and went to great lengths to share such a special and important occasion with those they count as the special people in their lives, including my own family?

So, The Wedding Post, it is off. And I am spending the time it'd have taken me to tell you all about it instead telling you that I am a big forty-year-old jerk who still has a lot, and I mean A LOT of growing up to do.

Check out this beautiful, heartfelt, wise post from another (less jerky) Megan, at SortaCrunchy.

It is a post that deserves all the attention I can point to it. And one that I will read again and again, filled with remorse but so hopeful that God will continue to coax my tragically unteachable spirit into and up to His beautiful truth.

AY-MEN, SISTER!

23 comments:

  1. Megan, this was a terrific post in so many ways. I find myself wanting desperately to blog about so many things I see and hear (both serious and humorous) and have to stop because I realize that I tend to have a bitingly sarcastic tone that doesn't always read well (if you know what I mean) and I really don't want to make light of another person's circumstances. I need to be a kinder, gentler, blogger. (that last sentence was sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it)

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  2. Thank you for sending us to that post. It was a wonderful reminder of how we treat God's children.
    Smiles!

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  3. You are right not to write about the wedding and I completely agree with your reasons.

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  4. I really love transparent posts like this. Thank you Megan for your refreshing honesty. :)

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  5. Well, friend, as you well know, my first response to you not blogging about The Wedding was disappointment because I know you would have told SUCH a good story. So what does that say about me? I can be pretty darn jerky, too. I may not convey it online, but I have plenty of family members who would stand up and testify to it.

    Thanks for allowing yourself to be so authentic and open with us here. I'll tell you what - today's post humbled me in many ways as I thought about how much I have also relied on having fun at someone else's expense to get a laugh out of someone, anyone.

    Isn't God good to use blogland to keep us accountable one to another?

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  6. (Sharp intake of breath) you went to The Wedding without a camera?!!!

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  7. Thank's for sending us to Sorta crunchy. She wrote a great post and it's such a good reminder. I truly appreciate what you wrote too. It is so easy for all of us to fall into making comments about others, but most of us aren't honest enough to admit it on our blog. I'm impressed that you did.

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  8. Megan, what a way with words you have. I was about to start my own venting blog with a post about some HOA business that is REALLY bothering me. Your post and Megan@sortacrunchy's posts nudged me in the right direction. I too have a, what did you call it?! a rapier-sharp tongue. I have been told this by Mom and Dad and many others. It is funny, at Bible Study this morning we were talking about the Quickening Spirit of God. Did He ever give me a sign? And I got it!!! No questions or doubts about that. We also talked about God being the Potter. Shape me, oh God, into what you would have me to be.

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  9. As much as I would have enjoyed laughing over your Wedding post, I'm glad you took the high road! One of my favorite things about your writing is that you're so funny without ever being mean. Not that I'm above mean humor--and thanks for the link to Other Megan's convicting post!

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  10. Good for you. When I think of the funniest people I know, they always have a self depreciating humor. They never make fun of others, only themselves.

    You made a wise choice.

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  11. Megan, I think you usually (always?) make fun of yourself and that is what's so funny to me! And--forgiving is so-o-o-o-o liberating! Aunt Joy

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  12. I read Megan's post earlier today. It is a good one. And I fully commend you for not posting about the wedding, although I'm DYING to hear about it. I guess that shows you a little rebellious side of my character as well. Ahem. I have had to pass up many a great bloggy tale in the interest of kindness and respect. It's hard, but it's the right thing to do. Love ya, girl!

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  13. I think every blogger has to figure out what their boundaries are - and I also think that every blogger discovers those boundaries, in part, by accidentally stepping over them.

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  14. That's what makes you a good blogger, you admit to your mistakes and blab it all over, just to remind the rest of us to play nice and be examples. Very good for us all to read this one and thanks for sending us to megan@sortacrunchy.

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  15. I think my heart just grew 3 sizes. ;)

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  16. Great post and, of course, a good reminder for all of us folk who like to laugh and make others laugh in the process.

    Just email me the story instead.

    hee hee... kidding.

    sorta.

    YES. I'm kidding.

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  17. yeah... i fall for that type of laughter sometimes (okay... A LOT) too. I can be the Queen of "If You Can't say something nice, come sit by me"

    But like I wrote in a post the other day, it's such an unpleasing aroma to the Lord.

    Blessings,
    karla

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  18. Amazingly kind and good of you. After I read your previous post about the invites, I felt so anxious, wondering what people will think of my own wedding and...guess what I'm doing right this minute at 1:35 am after my fiance had a little squabble about whether or not our parents should receive invitations to our wedding? I am stamping and consolidating every "invite component" so that they can get out tomorrow. I know I spelled everyone's name correctly, and even drove my fiance nuts (or to bed, in tonight's case) by making sure that he triple-checked spellings and addresses for the people I didn't know. You should not feel bad for having written about what you did, unless you happened to hurt someone's feelings in doing so. But I am happy that you didn't take it further and realized that you would feel bad about it later. I find myself catching my tongue a lot lately (I hope now isn't supposed to be one of those times!)

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  19. Interesting. I tend to censor myelf slightly when blog too, but that's mainly because my blog is read by my parents-in-law and a few of my husband's family, including some who are appparantly not talking to me! I grew up with the mantra "if you don't have somethng nice to say, don't say anything at all" and find it quite hard not to find a positive spin for things.

    Having said that I love, love, bitchy, witty humour! I have a gay friend who is particularly good at it and I look forward to evenings with him as I knoiw he'll disect how everyone else in the room looks and behaves in a clever, biting way. I'm not terribly good at it myself sadly.

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  20. Good for you! :) I have to admit that I'm a teensy bit disappointed but I'll survive. ;)

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  21. Tag you're it for a meme in my world. Have fun!

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  22. Thank you for extending grace. Oh, how we all desperately need it!

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  23. I have the same disease as you and often find myself slapping my hand over my mouth...(doh, I shouldnt have said that)

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Thoughts?