Sunday, October 7, 2007

Crispy fresh sheets Ain't Allowed in 'Ese Here Parts, Nossir

Just a silly post from March 3, 2006, while Al was living in Chicago and Bean and I were still down in Atlanta wrapping things up. I got to thinking about it this morning because I've been washing sheets, blankets and comforters non-stop for two days thanks to the new One-Size-Larger pulling-up diapery things I bought for Bean Wednesday night. (MIS. TAKE. Apparently, these particular pulling-up diapery things must turn the kid's legs purple in order to be leakproof. What do your littlest kids wear at night to protect the sheets?) Anyway I was thinking I sure do wish I could line-dry my bed-linens. My mom always has, and I swear there's not a smell in the world that's more homey to me than good old sun-warmed, line-dried sheets still crisp from an afternoon in the backyard.

In ainser to yer qwestshun as ta why that thar Home-owners Assosheea-shun don't like us ta hang up ar wash outside ta dry, I reckon as how it's cuz summa us Suth-ners, you know, 'em as is also sometime cawled hillbillies? Well, 'em 'ere hillbillies, 'ey don't rightly keer much about what the rest of us might cawl yer "ASSTHETICS." You know, ASSTHETICS: Dem thangs 'at look purty an pleasin'? Well, hillbillies don't keer a fig about what looks purty an pleasin', an' ey'll just hang up 'eir bib overhauls and 'em 'ere ol dropseat long johns out 'n a front yard and leave 'em out 'ere fer a coon's age. Jis a flappin' in the breeze, sun up ta sundown. Yep. Right out 'ere inna front yard, right 'ere nexta 'at old pick-'em up truck on cinderblocks an' a toilet planter. An we cain't have that goin' on in this here high-fallutin' nayberhud, naw we cain't. Nossir. People'd think we wuz white trash. Which you an I know is only half-true, anyway.

Now I m'self personally had m'sheets out at nine ay eeyum, an' 'ey was back inna house an on m'bed again afore noontime. BUT 'ats jis me. Reckon I'm wunna 'em CON-SHEE-ENshus folks.



  1. There is nothing like crawling into a bed with line dried sheets on it. I'm one of those coountry folk and I can hang my sheets. The sad thing is, I rarely do because of the time factor. Now you've made me think - Tuesday is my day off. I should take advantage of the nice weather we are having and have one last sheet hanging day before the cold comes!

  2. I love a bed made up with line-dried sheets. LOVE.

  3. line dryin is the best, so glad to larn you is one of them thar con-shee-enshus persons.

  4. Well, I'm sure you've already done this, but you can get a vinyl mattress cover from Walmart for about $5, and that protects the mattress. Then, as much as I hated to do it, I put my little sweet pea's pretty butterfly comforter away, and we have the bare minimum on the bed. We really don't have many night time accidents, but by having as few things as possible on the bed, it makes cleanup much easier.

  5. Have to say--just reading that hurt my head! I don't like the pull up diapery things either, as I have already told you. I've found liquid fabric softener, combined with dryer sheets work pretty well in our association neighborhood. It works a whole lot faster too. But after sleeping in a hotel bed, I completely understand the clean fresh sheets. The last time I put out laundry to dry in the sun was when my mom's dryer wasn't working--because I had it on air dry--WHOOPS!

  6. I grew up sleeping on line-dried sheets. They do smell wonderful, but when I got to college and pulled my nice warm soft sheets out of the dryer, I thought--now THIS is the way sheets should feel!

    Don't throw green tomatoes at me...!



  7. As for the pull up diapery things, we changed to Good Nights for the girls, because they seemed to tee-tee buckets at night. These hold way more tee-tee than regular diapers. Emily is STILL wearing them.

    With Reece, I also used 1/2 a mattress pad on top of his fitteed sheet. I cut the mattress pad in half, cut off the elastic edge, and then sewed up the open edge. When he wet at night, then I usually just had to wash the top mattress pad (and sometimes the top sheet), which is way better than washing EVERYTHINIG!

    Give it a try!


  8. Mmmmmh....crunchy sheets baked in the sunshine and breeze. You can't engineer that into a Downy Bottle.

    Good luck with the pullups issue. Let us know what works...I'll be in that boat in a couple of years.

  9. "ASSTHETICS"--love it! I'm far too lazy about my front yard upkeep to ever consider buying a home that involves following homeowner's ass-ociation rules :) Re Bean's bottom cover: we only used pullups once--we went to Disneyland smack in the middle of potty training season and convinced Chewbacca that the pullups were special Disneyland underwear. He loved them so much I decided not to buy anymore--plain ol' diapers worked until I got up the nerve to test overnights!

  10. Just talking about line-dried sheets recalls to mind the memories and smells. Oh, I wish my kids could have those, too! Silly homeowners associations. They have no sense.