Pages

Monday, August 13, 2007

Spanked It Out of the PARK, He Did

Now people, do not even THINK I've deluded myself into believing that you aren't sick to your very death of hearing about how Wonderful and Brilliant and Heroic is my My Sweet Husband. I know. And it pains me to have to even go there again, because it flies in the face of proper Southern humility and subtle understatement. But a man such as this deserves all the props I can dish out so I'ma dish some out this morning.

I'll endeavor to be brief, but you have likely gathered by now that an inclination toward brevity is really not in my genetic make-up, so don't hold your breath, okay?

Saturday in the Three Words Meme, I may have suggested that I found my computer to be less than sufficient for my extraordinarily important blogging, emailing, recipe-searching and weather-checking needs. Oh, and those occasional forays into the Googling of random people from my past to see if they've accomplished any more than I have thus far in their lives. Did I say I was going to be brief? Mebbe I mispoke.

Last leg, people! I believe is how I put it. And hey, guess what? Those were three of the most prophetic words I've spoken in my life, second only to Honey, watch out, she's eyein' the cat litter again and looks like she means bidness this time! Yes, Sunday at about 2:30 Post Meridian, my poor pathetic mistreated old HP Pavilion stopped dead in its tracks, clutched desperately at its Operating System, fell to its disk drive and coughed out its final download. Just like that. No warning, no goodbye. I mean, I knew it hadn't been feeling well, but I had no idea how close we were to the end.

As you can imagine, there were several desperate attempts at revival. There was re-booting, and the accompanying gnashing of shut-down/restart, and many, many function keys were applied, but the patient was unresponsive and eventually I was forced by members of my staff to call it. Time of death, 2:35 PM. Al gave me several I told you so, and I told you so, and Oh! by the way, I TOLD YOU SO, looks (he has been recommending euthanasia for months now) and I forlornly mumbled something about going to take a nap, then took to my bed, heavy hearted and blogless.

Sleep didn't come, so I returned to the kitchen to find a note from Al taped to the corpse (he knew I'd be back for one more attempt at resuscitation) that said he'd be back in a little while. Upon his return, he bore a very lovely and festive gift bag stuffed with lime green tissue paper and a card. The inscription on the card goes like this:

(Disclaimer: The opinions expressed below are not necessarily those of FriedOkra or its affiliates. These are the sentiments of a very subjective third party who is at times quite painfully aware which side of his bread is buttered.)

I am soooooo proud of you and Congrats on launching such a successful blog!!! ... Now it's time to donate that old worn out glove in exchange for a new one. You have made The Show, and a Big League Ball Player needs the best equipment... Now get out there and give 'em hell. On 3!!! 1...2...3, Go FRIEDOKRA! Love, THB (The Honey Bunny)

You are lovin' the baseball metaphors, no? Me too. And inside the bag? A brand new lovely laptop, all for me! I'm not going to bore you with all of the technical particulars (mostly because I don't have a clue what they are) except to say that Jules may be slightly disappointed, and that as I ever-so-hastily freed the box from its wrappings, Bean excitedly pointed out, "Daddy got you a COW, Mama! Dat was veeewy sweet of you, Daddy!"

So nice is this laptop that it'll likely be three weeks before I go back to my habit of mawing massive fistfuls of salted dry-roasted peanuts during my naptime blog session!

The best part of the whole thing (besides the fact that the keys of the new computer actually have LETTERS on them, and that I can exhale at will as I work without shutting myself down, and you know, that this one WORKS) is Al's enthusiasm over this blog. It's gotten so that he's often the first to read your comments, as he checks for them even more obsessively than I do. He was so fired up by your sweet and supportive responses to our Love Story that he's already contacted Denzel's management company to make sure Mr. Washington will be available for the role of The Honey Bunny in the movie.

Now I ask you, ain't he sumpm'?

15 comments:

  1. Wow...what a blessed woman you are! I feel the same way about my "HB" (honey-bunny) as I call him from time to time.

    I recently found your blog through Jules and I have to tell you - you are so witty and have such a way with words - I just love ya like a sis!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww. He's heart melty for sure. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Way to go, Al! (I'm typing on my brand-new cow laptop that hubs surprised ME with two weeks ago!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah Al! You are wonderful. And who better to play your part that that hunky Denzel Washington? I'll certainly be the first in line to see this movie!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'll be in line right behind Mari, kleenex in hand. Chivalry and sweetness are definitely not dead--or even close to life support!

    ReplyDelete
  6. How sweet and wonderful of him! I'm not the least bit surprised though - he's the master when it comes to treating his lady right. I'm seeing him in the kitchen right now - helping you wash dishes with a fantastic attitude and a smile on his face. Al will always be one of my heros. Both of you. Blessings from the Lord!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awww, that was so sweet of him. But I have to ask? Who will play you to Denzel's Honey Bunny?

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's a great question, Leigh. I hadn't really thought about it. Any suggestions?

    ReplyDelete
  9. No.. she didn't need shots. I reread this entry just for fun. :) I'm glad you had a good day.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How wonderful! What a treat. You deserve it, mama!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Daddy got you a cow!! That Bean; she's a hoot. Denzel is perfect. I'm thinking maybe Kim Basinger for the leading woman.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, I'm jealous. On so many levels.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well, I'm content with my desktop, though I wish the internet would get fixed!!! I do like the sound of that there lime green tissue paper, though! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sigh. If only he'd bought you a Mac.

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts?