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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Highschool Meme Time





I've run across this meme here and there in my bloggity meanderings. I laughed outloud several times remembering and trying to capture my memories of those days... You have to laugh at yourself, otherwise you'd cry.

1. Who was your best friend?

I had a little group of 5 or 6 that were my closest allies, and we were all pretty much inseparable, but Marie and Angie were the two best of the best. Marie, though, is my oldest and dearest of all friends. She even reads my blog.

2. Did you play any sports?

Oh yes, all of them. I was a star athlete. What? Marie? Is that you laughing?
Okay, okay. No. No sports. Not even that folded paper football thingy everyone did on their desktops in study hall.

3. What kind of car did you drive?

Are ya ready for this? A 1970-something Plymouth Valiant (see above for a surprisingly accurate likeness). Mine also had a fetching white vinyl top. After having driven this car, which operated with the same precision and stateliness of my Mom's antique Singer (none), to highschool for 2 years, there was and still is very little that can embarrass me. I was dealt my share and of humility early in life. I have no regrets. If I began to list for you the subsequent bloopers, bleeps and blunders of my life, you'd understand that being embarrassed to the point of no return in my teens served as a very very vital innoculation for the deadly humiliation to come. No, seriously. I just live life with a perpetually red face - it saves me the trouble of having to work up a good blush the requisite-for-me several times daily.


4. It’s Friday night. Where were you?

At a Greenwave football game, silly! Home or away, it didn't matter, my posse and I were there in our kelly green sweatshirts, sucking on Chupa Chup suckers, angsting about boys, going to the bathroom to check our hair and make-up every 13 seconds, watching The Popular Girls flirt with boys, and occasionally glancing at the field, where they were apparently playing some sort of sport or something.

5. Were you a party animal?

If all-chick slumber parties where the giddy, pajama-clad attendees frantically memorized the entire zombie dance from the Thriller video while eating Planter's Cheeseballs and drinking Cheerwine until it came out of their noses counts as partyin' then HHHHHOD AWMIGHTY YES, I absolutely the epitomized the wild craziness.

6. Were you considered a flirt?

I was unable to both look at and speak to a boy at the same time. Actually scratch the "at the same time" part. Boys sent me directly into anaphalactic shock until my third decade. I'm gonna go with no on this one.

7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir?

Worse. I WAS IN THE DRAMA CLUB! Wait, where are you going? Get back here, you haven't even gotten to the good part, yet!

8. Were you a nerd?

If you ask me, nerds make the world go 'round. Nerds are the lynchpins of our society. Does that answer your question?

9. Were you ever suspended or expelled?

Nah, but once I hid in a locker for an hour while cutting a class to avoid being caught by Ms. Bowick, who was a Member of Our Church. Need I say more? I should have just stayed in class though. That locker stunk to high heavens.

10. Can you sing the fight song?

I don't think we even had one. (See my comments section. If we did have one, Marie will have typed it in there word for word. She's gonna be real useful to me when I'm 60 and can't remember my own name.) How rousing could a song about a Greenwave be, anyway? There was this mentally challenged "booster," though, a MAN named Doris (?) (Yes a MAN. Named Doris. I don't know!) who would throw his considerable weight into ringing this huge green bell everytime our team scored. He composed a thoughtful and motivating responsive cheer we could really rally around that went like this:

Him: He Eh ey!
Us: He Eh Ey!
Him: Goober Goober GooBER!
Us: Goober Goober GooBER!
Him: He Eh ey!
Us: He Eh Ey!
Him: Goober Goober GooBER!
Repeat ad nauseum.
Yep. Fight song. Notsomuch.

11. Who was your favorite teacher?

Mr. Chris, who taught history and was the drama coach. He called my friend Angie and me "The Golddust Twins" because we had matching blonde hair. You know what? I wasn't the only one who liked him because he's now the MAYOR... The Po.Ten.Tate... of my small town. And I know him. If you are ever there and you need some municipal assistance, you let me know. I got the Mayor in my pocket, see. Or something like that.

12. What was your school mascot?

The ever-so-threatening Greenwave

13. Did you go to the Prom?

I went to my Senior prom. My junior prom date, George, on whom I'd had a heart-stopping, vomit-inducing, head-between-my-knees crush on since the beginning of ... time, and who I think may have actually been kidding when he agreed to go with me because he was in COLLEGE at the time (true to my word in #6, I invited him in a LETTER), had his MOM call my Mom and cancel the date on the afternoon before because apparently he had to have his jaw broken and wired shut to correct a mammoth overbite that very day and would therefore be unable to escort me on what was to have been the Night of My Life, when the shackles of my nerdliness and boyphobia would forever be broken and I'd emerge a beautiful, incredibly clever and socially effervescent butterfly and everyone's heads would turn in complete disbelief... lips would murmur of my magnificence and a million doves would fly out of my little pink clutch and the disco ball would grow to three times its normal size and the band would play Crazy for You by Madonna and George would sweep me into his arms and know he could nevereverever be apart from me again because I was The Woman of His Dreams (all 97 lbs. of me!) and the crowd would part and we'd dance as if on an enchanted island, then he'd take my hand and we'd depart in his mother's white Corvette Stingray as the crowd followed along behind us, dazzled to their cores. (I think it is worth pointing out that every word in this paragraph up until that last period was all in ONE SENTENCE. You can inhale now. I'll wait. Okay, ready?) Instead I spied him from the ketchup, straw and napkin island in my local Burger King on Prom Night and judging from the cavernous, gaping, check-out-these-tonsils bite he took of his Whopper, turns out the only surgery that boy'd had that day was a um... cahoona-ectomy. The Coward! But the story doesn't end there. Ten years later he found me on a popular highschool reunion information gathering website (you know which one I mean?), somehow got my phone number and called me and we actually DID go out on a date (I know, what are the odds?) and you know what? It was a big disappointment. He just wasn't all that. At all. He was in his thirties at the time and attempted to kiss me while chewing Juicy Fruit gum. Not the suave and debonair prince I'd imagined him to be. Not by a longshot.

14. If you could go back, would you?

Not on your life. Not for all the tea in China. Not for a million dollars. Okay for a million dollars but only if I get to go back to then knowing what I know now. And only if I can NOT drive that stupid VALIANT.

15. What do you remember most about graduation?

My friend Lyn quoting the words to Carol King's (James Taylor's) You Got a Friend in her commencement address. I'd still be mopping up tears over that speech if I hadn't discovered blush wine my freshman year in college.

16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day?
Must've been a really good time because I have no recollection of it at all.

17. Did you have a job your senior year?

Nothing that I got paid for. I emptied the dishwasher and took out the trash. Stuff like that.

18. Where did you go most often for lunch?

The CANTEEN. Where you could get a fried chicken patty on a bun for 65 cents, a Coke for 35 cents and an oatmeal cream pie for a quarter. The Lunch of Champions. (Why did I only weigh 97 lbs??)

19. Have you gained weight since then?

Oh heavens to Betsy yes. Gained it and lost it about 14 times now!

20. What did you do after graduation?

Sold lingerie to old ladies at our local department store, then fled for college all of 15 miles away from home.

21. What year did you graduate?

What? What's that you say? Did I just flatulate? Heh? Speak up little missy! Oh Graduate? Lemme see that musta been back in Nineteen Hunderd and Eighty Six...
22. Who was your Senior Prom Date?

A fellow geek. I don't even want to discuss it. I SAID NO!

24. Who was your homeroom teacher?

Um... some guy who was in the process of building a log cabin from scratch and told us all about the prior evening's progress every morning, with diagrams and stuff on the overhead projector. I would find that fascinating NOW, but when I was 17? Gimme a break.

25. Who will repost this after you?

I think I may actually BE the last person in bloggity land to actually get around to doing this meme. But if you haven't, and you want to, I think it should be YOU.
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And don't forget now, I'm hosting a writing carnival here next Tuesday. You get to write about FOOOOOOD and those special times you've had around the table (or on the picnic blanket, or crawling around under the highchair, etc.). Clicky the buttony abovey. (And spread the word on your blog - email me for a button.)

5 comments:

  1. I no longer feel so bad about my Taurus after seeing your Valiant. Although at my high school you may have been able to try and spin it as a 'classic' car.

    Too bad about your dream/prom night with crush boy! What a jerk!!

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  2. I might have to steal this. I've got a soft spot for memes, you know. Also, I think that "You Got a Friend" thing is a mandatory part of class speeches at graduation time. I remember the speaker used that at MY graduation. I enjoyed reading this. And you know what's funny? If I'd had that car in high school, I would have LOVED it haha. I'm a dork. Oh and when was drama club a geek thing? All the popular kids (aka people who are now drunks with ex-cheerleader wives... okay okay, yeah I'm bitter) in school were in ours.

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  3. OH NO YOU DID NOT!!

    I am so stealing this idea, and blogging about it TODAY. Whoo!

    I am still trying to catch my breath...YOU have made ME howl. Wowza!! (rubs cheek muscles)

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  4. Oh yes - your description of Friday nights is spot-on with how my Friday nights were spent in those days. What WERE they doing on the field, anyway? Those buns sure looked cute in uniforms, I remember that . . .

    Loved this! I hope to get to it some time this weekend.

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  5. Hey - popped over out of curiosity and copied your idea. Great memories, huh?

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Thoughts?